News

First father?

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Happy President's Day. In my old life I usually had to work on President's Day, and the only difference was that traffic wasn't so bad on the highway. It should of made me happy, but it only really made me feel like a sucker for having to go to work while everyone else was sleeping in. Now I guess every day is like President's Day. I don't have to deal with traffic, but I definitely don't get to sleep in either.

Anyway, in honor of today I suppose, Gallup did a poll asking people who the greatest president of the United States was, and really the results are just the sort of thing that make me depressed about being an American in 2005. The winner was Ronald Reagan, with Bill Clinton coming in second and Lincoln third. THIRD? It's so stupid I can't even make a comment.

Also interesting was the other question in the poll. It asked if parents would want their kids to become president one day. Fifty-seven percent said no, while only 40 percent said they would. Personally, even though she's only 7 months old, I think Madame would make a great president. She's already the boss of me.

Greatest US President? Public Names Reagan, Clinton, Lincoln. [Gallup.com]

News links for a Wednesday.

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Stigmatizing Fathers [Reason Online]
A pretty good article about the tough place fathers can find themselves in if the mother of their unborn baby decides to put it up for adoption. "Biological paternity isn't everything; but it isn't nothing either."

Auction To Name Child [Sky News]
An Australian couple decided to put "promotional rights" for their unborn baby up for auction on eBay, but eBay pulled the auction on the last day. When did eBay get a conscience? I must have missed that.

Why do kids get sick? [USNews.com]
The "National Children's Study," the largest long-term study of children and disease is about to begin. It will take 21 years and might cost as much as $2.7 billion, but could you put a price on a good chance for a cure for diabetes, asthma or autism? Me neither.

Babies behind the wheel.

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You know, why am I so concerned with getting my baby a new car seat, when I could just let her sit up front with me and steer? Apparently it's all the rage these days.

Dad who let son steer gets 9 months in jail [Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel].
Spend some quality father/son time? Check. Realize you're too drunk to drive? Check. Put your six year old (and sober) son on your lap so he can steer the car instead? That gets you nine months in the hoosegow.

Mich. 4-Year-Old Does Late-Night Driving [Washington Post].
This one is unbelievable to me. Not because the the kid actually got the car a quarter of a mile to the video store, and not because the mom was stupid enough to put him on her lap and teach him how to drive (see news story above). But because this four year old knew enough to throw it into reverse and back up after he hit a parked car. If I'm the kid's dad I'm proud and horrified all at the same time.

Helping out single dads in NY.

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It might suck right now dealing with the cold and snow if you live in New York, but you should be proud to live in a state that cares about dads. I read last night that NY Governor George Pataki (R) is proposing legislation that will give a tax credit to low income fathers who don't have custody of their children but are current on their child-care payments. Currently single, low-income parents with custody (mostly women) benefit from such a tax credit, but this would help out both people responsible for their children. The tax credit is supposed to not only encourage young men (the first implementation would affect dads 18-30) to work and pay their child support, but also hopefully encourage them to participate in their children's lives.

What can you say about something that sounds like such a great idea you're surprised it's a new idea? If  these are the kind of republicans you are growing out there in the blue states, could you send some of them out here to the red states?

In New York, a welfare experiment for single dads  [Christian Science Monitor]

(By the way, let me pat myself on the back. Congratulations to me on my 100th post!)

News links for Friday.

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Paddling debate shifts to the home [Houston Chronicle] 
Like I needed another reason not to move to Texas, a state representative there has ” filed a bill that gives parents the right to use corporal punishment for "the reasonable discipline" of their children.” I guess it’s not enough that there isn’t any law in any of the 50 states prohibiting spanking your kid at home; in Texas some people need a law giving them the go-ahead. The representative proposing this is the same guy who (successfully) defended a grandmother who whipped her 14 year old grandchild with an extension cord. An EXTENSION CORD?

Dads Urged to Be Involved in Child Health [ABC News via AP]
In a new report, the American Academy of Pediatrics wants us dads to be more involved with our child’s health care, and wants pediatricians to listen to what the dads have to say. It seems obvious, but I hope it helps pediatricians realize they should listen to both parents at the visit, and not just what the mom has to say.

Parents search for family friendly games [The Age (Australia)]
Even though I’m addicted right now to Halo 2 on XBOX, I realize it probably won’t be a game I’ll be playing with Madame anytime soon. What surprised me though was that over half of videogames sold in 2003 were rated E (the lowest rating – “E”veryone). I would have thought it was less.

Gen X Dad.

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The Boston Globe ran a great article this past Sunday about "Gen X" dads (ages 26-40) and new attitudes towards fatherhood. It's well worth the read, if only because it takes a complicated subject and treats it like a complicated subject (unlike the NY Times' Desperate Househusbands article last month). There all kinds of dads and fatherhood situations, and most of us are doing the best job we can, albeit differently than our fathers did. The article interviews thoughtful dads who neither complain about or glorify their situations, but just explain how they've managed their dad-life. It's great - the best article about fatherhood I've read since I started paying attention to fatherhood articles.

Gen X Dad by Patricia Wen [Boston Globe]
link courtesy of Daddy Types and the imminent dad (and fellow Red Sox fan apparently) over at new dad blog More Diapers.

Fathers 4 Justice evicted.

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All the time I've been writing this blog I've been avoiding writing about the UK father's rights group Fathers 4 Justice. Not that I don't think what they are doing (philosophically) is a good thing, but mostly because I don't live in the UK, and I think scaling Buckingham Palace dressed as Batman is kind of lame. But OK, OK. I give in.

Instead of climbing stuff, they've now taken to storming compounds. Protesters from Fathers 4 Justice raided the set of UK reality television show Celebrity Big Brother early this morning. (You know the show - make a bunch of celebrity strangers live in a prison house together and tape their every movement.)  They didn't get into the house, but caused a stir and, once again, got their antics in the newspaper. I can't decide if what they are doing helps or hurts their cause, but it sure is getting them exposure, which is I guess what they want after all.

Favorite quote: "[Big Brother security was] a damn sight tighter than at Buckingham Palace."

Men arrested for Big Brother raid  [BBC News]

News links for a Wednesday.

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Study advises limiting children's use of mobile phones [Computerworld]. Here's another vague and not particularly useful study about cellphone use. Just another reason that cellphone toy software isn't such a great idea.

Kraft to announce curbs on food ads to children [Boston Globe]. Corporate responsibility (especially when it comes to advertising to children) is always a good thing right?  I guess my bologna won't have a first or second name anymore.

Relief worker starts at the bottom [The Age (Australia) - subscription or BugMeNot]. If you're like me and still cleaning up after your child's dirty diapers (and still not really happy about having to do it), don't even think about complaining - at least we don't have 100 babies to change. And don't forget to donate.

News links for a Wednesday.

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Here are three things I found online last night:

  • More dads are staying at home [Seattle Times]. The Seattle Times wrote an article about stay-at-home-dads that doesn't suck. It's short and uses the ridiculous 2002 census number that Rebel Dad hates so much, but it's still pretty positive. (By the way, congratulations and good luck to Rebel Dad at his new job).
  • Babies Recognize Face Structure Before Body Structure [Science Daily]. So I guess when strangers say, "See, she recognizes her daddy," there is some truth to it. Then again, she'll smile at anyone who smiles at her first.
  • 'Who's Your Daddy?' sinks to new lows in viewers too [AP]. I have to admit, I saw the end of this show. It was as simultaneously lame and despicable as you'd expect, but also kind of boring. I guess this probably means there won't be a second. Good.

Incomprehensible.

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The death toll from the tsunami disaster in East Africa and South Asia is expected to surpass 100,000. It's really hard for me to wrap my head around that kind of number, but reading about it while listening to my daughter laughing with my wife downstairs has put some things in perspective. Help out if you can.

DONATE through Amazon.com.

(Thanks to the future dad over at ideashak for the link to donate.)

Toys OUT. Babies IN.

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It seems that Toys "R" Us has decided to convert their Union Square store in Manhattan from a Toys "R" Us to a Babies "R" Us. And apparently it's a harbinger of things to come, as Babies "R" Us is quickly becoming the top dog of the "R" empire (though I was surprised to learn that this will be the first Babies "R" Us store in Manhattan). Anyway, I didn't need the Motley Fool to explain to me that Babies "R" Us pretty much has the market cornered on baby product superstores - especially baby shower registries. Maybe it's time to buy some stock.

Babies Take Manhattan  [Motley Fool]
Changing to Babies "R" Us  [NY Newsday]

Desperate for a good article about SAHDs.

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You know what sucks? Having to complain about every article about stay-at-home-dads that I read in the newspaper or online. The NY Times, trying to cash in on the Desperate Housewives phenomenon, did a story yesterday about desperate househusbands (without actually saying “desperate househusbands” which I guess I should be happy about, but I’m not). Apparently we stay-at-home-dads are desperate because we are “isolated,” and “fish out of water,” and “islands in a sea of women.” What a bunch of crap. If you feel isolated or different, get over yourself and make some friends, start a blog, connect with some dads. And remember you're doing the most important job of your life. Don’t bitch to the NY Times.

This article of complaining, whining dads pisses me off, but they saved the best for last:

And while the desperate housewives on Wisteria Lane have their exciting trysts with teenage gardeners and mysterious neighbors, there are seemingly few worries that these stay-at-home husbands have any potential for steamy affairs with their female counterparts. After all, what is threatening about a man loaded down with diapers?

"It takes one's manhood, chews it up, spits it out and does it again," said Gregg Rood, 43, who has taken care of his daughters, ages 7 and 11, in Westfield, N.J., for two years. "You really need a strong marriage and confidence. I don't have a lot of friends who could do this."

Kiss my ass NY Times. I may be slinging a diaper bag, but I’m sexy as hell.

Housewives Try This For Desperation [NY Times. Subscription required (or BugMeNot)]

Oh, and I'm not the only one talking about this. Check out Rebel Dad's comments (Wednesday, December 22 entry) and Daddy Types.

The patron saint of dads.

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Libby Purves has written a great Christmas essay about St. Joseph in the London Times. You know Joseph, he's the guy in the nativity scene you kind of forget about; just another new dad trying to do right by his family. Read the essay if you get a chance - I'm already thinking about Christmas in a new way.

The Patron Saint of Dads [The Times Online, UK]
"Joseph" by U.A. Fanthorpe

A distinction shared by a privileged few.

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If you're nine months pregnant, live in the UK and are about ready to give birth any minute, you probably don't need me to tell you but your kid might have a gig in eight years. If Britain is successful in it's bid for the 2012 Summer Olympics, all children born today ("20-12" in the British way of writing the date) will have the opportunity to take part in one of the ceremonies of the games.

Take it from me, it could be worth it. When I was five I got picked out of the crowd to march in the Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey Circus when it came to town. A fairly uneventful occurrence, but I got a sweet certificate acknowledging that I "...partook in the most fabulous salute to the "Spirit of 76" ever conceived; a distinction shared by a privileged few."

Their certificate probably won't be as cool, but I'm sure whatever they get could hang in their guest bathroom someday too.

2012 Olympic Kid Bid [UK Sun]

Toys, gifts, and more toys.

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It's probably because I'm not done shopping yet, but I’ve got gifts (especially toys) on the brain. Here are some gift related items I’m lumping together this morning:

Good things happening to good people.

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At first I was going to write about a news item I saw about a study showing men who use laptop computers on their laps may be lowering their sperm count, but then I saw this story.

I doubt this happens often, but this time the $27M California lottery jackpot went to a couple of people who deserve it. Steve and Debi Cifelli are infant abandonment advocates who have spent much of their lives working to stop the needless deaths of babies that others have left behind. Debi apparently was the driving force behind California passing the Safe Haven Law in 2001 which "...allow[s] desperate mothers to leave newborns at safe locations without fear of prosecution." It's unthinkable that such a law needs to exist, but I'm glad it does. Now the Cifelli's will use much of their new money to support their ongoing efforts to publicize the law, and hopefully save more children in the process.

Do-Gooders Win Lottery Jackpot - CBS News
(Horrible headline, good story.)

Fort Hesperia.

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I cameacross this article last night about some kids from California. Apparently a couple of industrious 12 year old brothers cleaned out an empty lot near their house, took the discarded wood and (with their parents’ permission) built a fort in their backyard. Now it seems the city of Hesperia (where they live) is demanding that they tear it down due to "a safety issue.”

When I was a kid, even younger than 12, I spent endless hours with my friend trying to build a fort in his backyard. It basically amounted to us nailing a bunch of scrap wood to some random trees, but it was fun. If we ever got anything even remotely resembling a fort built it would have destroyed me to have to tear it down. I realize that things are different now – kids have to wear bike helmets, can’t sit in the front seat of the car etc. – all for their own safety, but can’t a couple of kids have a fort anymore? And what will my baby do in a few years that her kids won’t be allowed to do? All of this kind of bums me out.

Voices in your head? Thank your dad.

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As if I don’t already have enough to worry/feel guilty about – now I might really be to blame if my kid turns out crazy. Apparently Swedish researchers have found that dads over 30 pass on a greater risk of schizophrenia to their children due to mutations in their sperm. But wait, it gets better. The research also found that the link was stronger if there was no family history of schizophrenia. So if you and your family are basically sane, but you decided to wait until you were a little more “stable” to have kids, then all you were really doing is giving more time for your sperm to mutate. Oh, and the risk increases by 50% every extra 10 years you wait, so if you’re thinking about kids, get to work.

Older Dads May Increase Schizophrenia Risk WebMD
Older father schizophrenia link BBC.
(I don't feel like an "older father.")

Not a NASCAR dad.

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In 2000 it was “Soccer Moms”. In 2004 “NASCAR Dads” is the newest hey-lets-stereotype-a-bunch-of-people-and-try-to-be-clever name for a voter group this November. However, it doesn’t describe me at all. And it’s not that I don’t like NASCAR, I do. (I can’t say I’m a fan, but I went to a race one time and besides being one of the loudest things I’ve ever experienced, it was a hell of a lot of fun.) But the name just doesn’t describe me. This got me thinking, what kind of "clever" dad-name could I be a part of? Here are some suggestions:

iPod Dads
Sleep-deprived Dads
Blogging Dads
Grilling Dads
XBox Dads
Poker Dads
Laptop Dads
Need-To-Start-Working-Out-Again Dads