Bumbling dads? Laid-back dads.

There's a pretty good article about SAHDs on NewYorkMetro.com that a friend tipped me too. It profiles a couple of Dads from Brooklyn (I'm assuming Boerum Hill is in Brooklyn) who seem pretty well adjusted and happy with their lives. In other words, like most of us SAHDs. The author does sort of make it seem like this is only happening in some of the "funkier neighborhoods," but whatever. You don't have to live in a "funky" neighborhood to be funky. (I hate that word "funky").

There is one interesting point to the article that I haven't really seen before, but I've been thinking about too. That is, as dads, are we more relaxed because we're allowed to be bumbling? Plenty of us rail at images in the media that show stupid dads  - like the Verizon commercial about the dumb dad getting in the way of his daughter's homework. But do we also use this convenient stereotype to, at the worst be lazy, or at best to just be more laid back about raising our kids? I'm not sure.

For me at least, I think I'm just naturally more laid back about parenting than my wife. This isn't a criticism, we just have a different way of dealing with things. The comment one of the dads made about "A child screaming hysterically and crying doesn’t upset me that much. I can roll with it." really rang true for me. But I have to admit I do fall back on the bumbling or clueless dad stereotype sometimes, particularly in public. For example, when the three of us are out at a restaurant or something on the weekend, usually the waitress or hostess will automatically ask my wife about the kid - whether she needs a menu or a high chair or whatever. And when she does I'm not offended; quite the opposite. I secretly like pretending I don't have a clue - it kind of takes off the pressure and gives me a break.

So am I perpetuating a societal misconception that dads don't have any idea about what their kids need when I don't get in the face of the hostess at the local brew pub and tell her that Madame will have a high-chair and no kid's menu? I don't think so - it's just a secret perk of being a dad that I don't have to deal for a change. The bottom line is being a SAHD is a great privilege, selfish side benefits and all.

Who's Their Daddy? [NewYorkMetro.com via brand new dad Brian]

Single dads getting respect in the funny papers.

I'm not really a fan of comic strips (other than classic Peanuts), but this has to be good for dads, right? I found an article this morning saying that a comic strip about a single dad and his daughter called "The Humble Stumble" has been picked up for syndication in some newspapers around the country. Previously it's just been available on Comics.com.

Check out The Humble Stumble (I particularly like this one) on comics.com.

Expensive stroller saves baby, "spendthrift" dads vindicated.

Even though Greg over at Daddytypes has this story covered and then some, any morning when I wake up and find that a $600 stroller saved the life of a baby I've got to write about it.

If you haven't heard, a nanny working in the upper west side of Manhattan was with her charge yesterday when a building collapsed on both of them. Apparently the $600 Mountain Buggy Urban Double bent around the child, protecting it from the rubble and saving the baby's life. Who knows if in the same set of circumstances the stroller would ever do this again, but thankfully it did. The question posed to me by a friend from NY this morning was would my Bugaboo do this, and although I doubt it, one thing I do know is that a cheap $20 umbrella stroller wouldn't have done squat. This is one to file away in the you-get-what-you-pay-for file. And if any new or impending dads out there are trying to justify an expensive stroller purchase to their wives, I've linked to the Newsday article below.

Also, as far as I can tell Mountain Buggy is a company from New Zealand and isn't publicly traded. Which is too bad because I think they're going to have a good quarter.

Posh stroller may have saved baby's life [Newsday.com Archives]  Thanks for the heads up Dan.

Shop for strollers and other products from Bugaboo at Amazon.com

News links for a Thursday

Get hip to tips for clueless dads  [Wakefield Observer]
This is a pretty good advice article for new or soon-to-be dads from a random columnist in Massachusetts. Usually when I read these types of articles with headlines that include "clueless dads" I expect to hate it (or at least roll my eyes) but he's got some pretty good advice. Even if the title sucks.

Tubby toon dads square off  [Chicago Tribune]
Why is this show "The Family Guy" all of a sudden in my personal media radar? I'm pretty sure it's been on for a long time. This article is like the third reference to it I've seen or heard in two days. I guess I've got to check it out. Oh yeah, I guess Homer was dissing the Family Guy dad on the Simpsons.

Website gives parents biased advice, lawmaker says  [USA Today]
Wait one minute. A government website put out by the Bush administration and funded by my tax dollars promotes a right-wing agenda to children and parents? That is a news flash. That new pope is Catholic too.

Candy draws kids, car bomber  [San Fransicsco Chronicle]
This time I saved the worst for last. If you haven't heard about this yet, a suicide bomber in Iraq targeted soldiers who were passing out candy to a crowd of kids the other day, killing 27 - mostly children. Just when you think you're desensitized to the amount of evil in the world, shit like this happens.

London bombing links.

It's hard to think of something dad related to write about this morning with the terrorist attacks in London and everything. The links I've been visiting this morning are:

• Boing Boing has a pretty good wrap up of the blogsphere coverage.
• The Wikipedia page for the attacks is already incredibly informative and useful. Basically what I wanted out of the news networks the five minutes I had to watch this morning.
• The Flickr bomb blasts pool is pretty good. There are lots of photos of televisions for some reason, but more photos of what's happening on the street are coming in.
• Live blogging like at perfect.co.uk and the London Underground Blog also provides a pretty compelling time line from a personal perspective.

I'm going back to the TV to watch CNN with the baby.

News links for a Wednesday

Dads of small babies have a high death risk. [UPI via Washington Times]
A Swedish study reports that parents of children born with a low birth weight are more likely to die early of cardiovascular disease, suggesting a genetic relationship.

Hip-hop parents hide discs from the kids. [Detroit Free Press]
Just because you become a father or mother doesn't mean you still don't like listening to music that's inappropriate for your children to listen to. This is a pretty good article about the first generation of hip-hop parents trying to come to terms with the music they enjoy and want to share with their kids. My question: where's the hip-hop kid's music? Enough with the Dan Zanes and Lisa Loeb already - where's the Busta Rhymes?

British parents spend millions on designer clothes. [QCK.com]
UK parents spent £446 on designer clothes for their babies last year, with 12 percent saying their kids had clothes with the labels like Prada, Versace and Ralph Lauren. They make baby Prada?

The artful dodge of housework. [Christian Science Monitor]
Men still don't do as much housework as women. No big revelation there if you ask me. I'm a SAHD and believe me, I do my fair share of housework, but even so I'd say I'm about even with my wife on the amount I do. My beef is with a guy who writes a book called "The Lazy Husband: How to Get Men to Do More Parenting and Housework." It's one thing to cash in on women who are pissed at their husbands, but selling out your gender in the title is unforgivable.

Happy Father's Day.

Well, it's Father's Day weekend, and I'm happy to say it's my first. It's pretty sweet getting a new holiday and a reason for someone to make a big deal about you - kind of a bonus for doing what you're supposed to do anyway. Actually now that I think of it, I don't think I'll ever be eligible for a new holiday again. I guess I could always convert to Judaism and pick up Hanukkah or something, but I'm doubting that's going to happen anytime soon.

Anyway, usually I have to dig deep on the Internet to find news articles about dads, but not today. Everyone from CNN to your hometown rag has got some angle on dads today, including some rare articles about stay-at-home dads (of which I am one). Here are some of the stay-at-home dad items I've found:

Brian Sullivan, Stay-at-Home Dad, with Saoirse [New York Metro via Beth G.]
Nice snapshot of a SAHD who's been doing it for a while. Best quote, "...my style is a mix of over-the-hill hipster and midlife crisis." Why does that ring so true?

Daddy's home to stay [USA Today]
This is a good profile of SAHD and every-now-and-then dad blogger Michael Paranzino that was in yesterday's USA Today. If every big media piece about SAHDs was this fair, I'd be happy.

More dads want to be Mr. Mom [CNN.com]
Career Builder.com did a survey that found out that, surprise!, dads who answer Career Builder surveys care about their families. And for the one-millionth time, I hate "Mr. Mom." It's a crap term, pulled from a crap movie, used by lazy headline writers. And anyone that calls you "Mr. Mom" is insulting you. Period.

Metrosexual men happy with bouquets [Belfast Telegraph]
OK. This isn't about SAHDs, but come on. The men of Northern Ireland think it's cool to get flowers on Father's Day? Am I seriously supposed to believe that? It's like I always say, you can never trust a poll run by Interflora.

It's about time to recognize ranks of stay-at-home dads [Houston Chronicle]
I saved the best for last. This is the one I've been waiting for. L.M. Sixel writes a great piece about SAHDs, the bullshit US Census numbers, and this shocking piece of info: Americans will spend 27 percent less on Father's Day than they did on Mother's Day. Equality starts with equal gift-giving America!

Have a happy Father's Day.

Extreme Makeover, Clown Edition.

As if people needed another excuse to hate clowns, McDonald's has decided their mascot Ronald McDonald isn't projecting quite the image that they want. So to freshen him up they're giving him a closer-cropped haircut and clothes that show off his lean, trim figure.  He's also going to be more active in commercials, playing sports and encouraging kids to join him. Hey, if you want people to believe your food is healthy, you can't have a fat clown peddling it.

Thankfully my baby isn't old enough to demand a happy meal yet, but I know that day is coming. I just hope when she's old enough to make her own decisions about food, she'll make the right ones.

I hate marketing.

Ronald McDonald turns health guru [BBC News]

Previously on MDD - Suckling a Big Mac

News links for a Tuesday.

Study warns of airbag danger to teens [CNN.com]
Forget about that feet-touching-the-floor business. Now you have to be at least 15 years old to sit in the front seat, because the things that are supposed to help, actually hurt. Though I suppose it will eliminate the "I called front seat" arguments that my sister and I used to have when we were kids.

Lactose intolerant! [NY Daily News.com  via DaddyTypes]
Those yentas on The View make jokes about how uncomfortable they feel when women breastfeed, and over a hundred beautiful, lactating moms show up on the street to show them how it's done. I probably shouldn't get so much happiness from bad press for The View, but I do.

Jilette Names Daughter Moxie CrimeFighter [Yahoo News via Waxy]
There really isn't any need to impose your own smart ass-ness permanently on your kid (or at least until she's old enough to change her name herself), but his reasoning did make me laugh so maybe it's a wash.

Fastest way of cooling a six pack [KWC Blog]
OK. This isn't really a news article. But instead of stupid, "fathers day is coming soon so let's find a story that has something to do with dads" story like this one, write an article about something useful, like how to get my beer colder, faster.

Textbooks? That's so last millienium.

Ah California. The state I'm so close to, but still so far away from. Some Democrat geniuses in the state assembly there have passed a bill that will ban school districts from purchasing textbooks with more than 200 pages. The idea is, the textbooks will give students some of the information, but then there will be an appendix of WEB SITES that students should look at to finish their learning.

Let me get this straight. Just because we now have this "miracle of the Internet" we should send kids home with less learning materials and revise teaching methods that have worked since, I don't know, the ancient Greeks? And thank god every kid in California has a computer with Internet access, because if there's one thing you can trust in the world, it's the veracity of the information you find on the Internet. Who needs the clunky old books that your Grandparents used? We shouldn't be encouraging kids to actually open books - we need to encourage kids to use the Internet. Everyone knows the Internet is like freaking brussel sprouts to a kid, but the Internet is where the TRUTH is!! It's so obvious! How come California is the only state to figure this out yet??

OK. I'll stop now.

Bill puts page limit on California textbooks [Sacramento Bee]

News links for a Tuesday.

'Tis the season for celebrity commencement speakers, but it's too bad graduating students in American Fork, Utah couldn't manage one. They're getting US Patent and Trademark Office Director John Dudas, who will, instead of inspiring them, scold them on the evils of file sharing. Oh. Did I mention the graduating class is a class of SIXTH GRADERS?
Never too young for a copyright lesson. [News.com]

Apparently students worried about having their future tech job being taken away by someone in India are deciding not to get involved in the whole computer science thing in the first place.
Fewer students seek computer degrees. [The Detroit News]

What's the British Empire coming to? Beckham isn't even one of the top 10 celebrity dads of the year??
Beckham Slips Out of Celebrity  Dads Top 10. [Scotsman.com]

Same old stories.

I've been writing this blog for about 8 months now, and the more I look at news articles about dads the more they stay the same. Like this one from the Seattle Times about how "Generation X" dads "seek balance" but really they are too afraid to tell their bosses that they want to spend more time with their families. Blah blah blah. Dads care, but they have it hard. Mom's care, but they have it hard too. Parents have it so hard these days. There must be a pile somewhere of these articles where all you have to do is switch around the proper nouns. Maybe you can order them from the back of Rollingstone, I don't know.

Then I searched Google News today for "dads" and the first result is a blog entry from Jay Allen (of Zero Boss fame) over at Blogging Baby titled "Why arrest "deadbeat dads" on Mother's Day?" Even though it's not (or maybe because it's not) an article from a newspaper, he brings up a good point. Though it's true fewer mothers pay child support than dads, mothers that do are delinquent on their child support payments at the same rate as dads. It's not only deadbeat "dads" that are the problem, but deadbeat "parents." It would have been nice to see someone write a newspaper article with a fresh point of view like this one - but I guess I'll have to keep reading blogs. Thanks Jay.

News links for Friday.

Deadbeat dads rounded up for Mother's Day [Chicago Sun Times]
In what I'm sure someone in the Cook's County Sheriff's department thought was a brilliant PR move, 150 deadbeat dads who have combined over $1.5 million in unpaid child support are being arrested. Too bad they can't do this sort of thing all the time, and not just around Mother's Day.

Teen dads 'crack,' leave eggs at firehouse. [Palm Beach Post.com]
Ever have to take part in one of those "exercises" in high school where you have to carry an egg around everywhere you go for a week and treat it like a baby (which basically means keep it from cracking all week)? You know - "Don't have sex kids, because if you do you could make a baby, and then you would have to carry it around with you everywhere you go, and you would probably just end up cracking the baby."
Anyway, some clever kids in Florida found a quick way to get out of the assignment, and abandoned them like any responsible, irresponsible teenage parent at the firehouse.

 
The most embarrassing weirdest search referral I've had to moderndaydad.com in at least a month. "dad fatty."

News links for a Thursday.

California smarty-pants gets the first perfect score on the new SAT, and now because of the new grading system my SAT score went from "slightly above average" to "pathetic." SAT Scores: 2400 is the new 1600. [CNN.com].

Here's one Madame must have read without me. Some Babies Skip Crawling [WMTW.com - "Where The News Comes First." How many TV stations in the country have a "news comes first" slogan? I would say at least one in every market.]

Sweep the leg. Six year old British kid becomes a black belt. [Sun UK via Fark]

Congratulations to Britney and Kevin on their impending arrival. I for one am going to try to not blog about this for the next nine months. [Rollingstone.com]

Human boobs? They're Grrrreat!

Sometimes you just have to let the absurdity speak for itself:

The two-week-old cubs, a male and a female, were taken from their mother Noah Noah after she killed the third cub in her litter, prompting veterinarians to engage in alternative childcare, the semi-official Myanmar Times weekly reported in its edition to be published Monday.

The emphasis is mine.

Woman breastfeeding tiger cubs in Myanmar  [Yahoo News]  (via Boing Boing)

Three links for a Wednesday.

According to "FemaleFirst.co.uk" dads are to blame for kids' reckless driving habits. Not the moms. Dads. [FemaleFirst.co.uk]

Why bother to make up your own grocery list when you can just cop someone else's? [Grocerylists.org]

Check out some amazing portraits of children from artist Loretta Lux. LorettaLux.de (via Boing Boing)

Ban the bunny.

Happy Friday, and if you're so inclined, happy Easter on Sunday. After you've read about the startling revelation that "Sweet Jesus! Easter Candy and Church Don't Mix," go over and check out this essay proposing we eliminate the Easter Bunny from all Easter celebrations. Best quote:

And given the general overall seriousness of Easter in the Christian scheme of things, it seems all the odder: It's like if on Yom Kippur, Jews the world over solemnly atoned for their sins, right after lining up to visit a giant purple aardvark named "Kippy."

Chianca: Bunny you should mention it [Townonline.com] via Fark.

Breast milk? I'll be the judge of that.

A recent study by British formula maker Cow & Gate found that one third of British fathers tried their wife's breast milk.  I thought about doing it when Madame was breastfeeding, but for one reason or another I never got around to it. Supposedly the fathers who were surveyed said that is was "part of an emotional urge to immerse themselves in the process of infant rearing," which smells like bullshit to me. Here are some of the more likely reasons I think why a dad might try a taste of la leche (in no particular order):

1. To gross out his wife.
2. Simple curiosity. The baby loves it, so it must be good.
3. To be able to say they did it.
4. Accidental taste during some post-natal foreplay with the baby's mama.
5. On a dare.
6. A fascination with the convenience of literally making food.
7. To gross out his wife.

Earth dads give breast milk a try [Times Online (UK)]

Plumbers delivering; Doctors discovering; Dads coveting.

Kind of a busy day, so I'm sort of mailing it in with a couple of quick news links.

From old pipes to new babies, this dad delivers [The Daily Oakland Press]
Plumber dad delivers his new baby boy in his living room. Insert your own "breaking water" joke in the comments.

Low birth weight diabetes link [BBC News]
Lack of fetal nourishment leads to damage of the pancreas which leads to type 2 diabetes.

Strollers lure fathers with car-like features [The State (South Carolina)]
I guess a reporter from the WSJ wrote an article recently about dads and strollers which some other newspapers picked up. My favorite part is the last paragraph:

Wechselblatt confesses that he has run his hands “surreptitiously over the fine construction” of the neighbors’ Bugaboo Frog, which is often called “the Hummer of strollers” because of its shape and big wheels. Some days, after stealing peeks at strollers on the Web, he comes home and looks at his Peg Perego “with disdain and I wonder, how can I put my child in this?” he said.

He must read Daddy Types too.

When dogs attack! The baby swing?

Here's another news story to go along with the local-news-fear-mongering I was talking about yesterday. A MDD reader tipped me to this one from the AP: Coroner: Baby swings can trigger dog attack. At a medical examiner's convention in New Orleans, a state coroner from Maryland said there has been two deaths from dogs attacking babies in swings over a four year period, which he attributes to dogs not being able to ignore the rocking motion of the swing.

I'm no pet lover, but as far as I can tell this guy is a medical examiner, not an expert on dogs or their behavior. Dr. Conjecture blames the swing. What about the dumb-ass, negligent parents who left the pit bull alone with the baby?? Instead of rethinking the swing, maybe people should rethink the dog. It seems to me the swing is just an excuse.

But it sure does make a sensational news story - just look at all them all.