True Dads? Snooze Dads.

Like I blogged about last week, I finally got around to watching that True Dads with Bruce Willis show yesterday, and I for one thought it left a lot to be desired. I guess it's what could be expected from SpikeTV, but it's too bad it wasn't more thought provoking. Here are my two cents:

• Every dad story except one was about a father-son relationship. The show might as well have been called "True Father-Son Relationships with Bruce Willis". That actually might have been a better show. As a dad with a daughter, I would have liked to see something besides an overwhelmed and overjoyed first-timer like myself.
• Bruce Willis, I swear I was rooting for you, but damn are you wooden. How is it that a guy who's had great movie and television roles acts so stiff when narrating or talking on camera? I guess I've got to work on separating the art from the artist.
• Enough with the music montages. I'm supposed to be touched. I get it.
• The only advice that I could discern for dads was to love your kids. And spend lots of "quality time" with them. Duh.

Oh well. Most of the stories were interesting, but the whole thing could have been half as long and twice as good. At least now I've got two hours of space freed up on my Tivo.

Die Hard Dad? Too easy. How about, Tears Of The Son?

I suppose I should file this with the Hey Dad - Let's Talk board game in the "don't be so quick to be so cynical" column. Apparently SpikeTV is taking some time off from showing Star Trek: The Next Generation reruns to air a new two hour special called True Dads with Bruce Willis.

Bruce Willis? OK. Right off the bat I want to make fun of it. Because when I think "fatherhood" I think Die Hard: With a Vengeance. But then I reconsidered - he's got three kids and a famous ex-wife who's dating someone 23 years younger than he is, so it's not like his life is without complication. He certainly has more fatherhood experience than I do, and someone has to host the show so why not the dude from Moonlighting?  I guess the plan is to examine six unique fatherhood stories, and pepper in some advice and anecdotes from famous dads like Matt Lauer and Alec Baldwin. It could be good I guess (anything promoting responsible fatherhood is good thing I suppose), but two hours sounds like a long time. If you're interested it's on this Friday December 17 at 9PM.

Spike TV and Bruce Willis Explore the Importance of Fatherhood in America With an Unprecedented Two Hour Primetime Special  [Press Release]
Bruce Willis TV special to inspire 'new generation of dads' [UPI story]

We've discovered television.

My mom came for a visit last week and it was both fun and a big help (allowing me to do things during the day that I just can’t do with a kid in tow). Anyway, the other morning I came downstairs after taking a shower and Madame was in her bouncy seat, smack dab right in front of the television watching Jo Jo’s Circus on the Disney Channel. And she was riveted. My mom looks at me and says (joking), “This taking-care-of-the-kid stuff is easy.”

It made me laugh because my wife and I had never thought to put something on the TV specifically for Madame before, because it seemed like something you weren’t supposed to do, but mostly because she was so into it. Later that night while we were eating dinner we tried one of the Baby Einstein DVDs we had (but had yet to try) and again it worked like a charm. We kind of felt guilty, but it was seriously the first meal we’ve eaten together beginning to end since the baby arrived, and it was nice.

So I guess I’m still up in the air about this. On one hand the Baby Einstein videos are really sweet and it’s hard to imagine they are harmful. Not to mention the fact that sometimes the benefit of a non-screaming baby to the family can’t be too overlooked. But on the other hand I kind of feel like I’m starting off on this slippery slope that’s going to end with endless loops of Mary Kate and Ashley videos. I guess as long as I use it judiciously and not as a replacement for real interaction I’ll be OK (which I imagine is the attitude of every other rookie parent). Hell, when I was a kid I used to watch two Sesame Streets, Mr. Rogers and Villa Alegre every day and I didn’t turn out so bad.

Thanks mom.

A world of firsts.

Something hit me the other day. I was feeding the baby watching The Alternative on VH1 Classic (it’s like it’s 1990 all over again and you’re watching 120 Minutes on MTV), impressing my child with my knowledge of the lyrics to "Just Like Heaven," and it occurred to me that this was the first time Madame had ever heard The Cure – in her life. And then Morrissey came on and I thought the same thing. Not that she could recognize it, or that she was even aware what was on the TV, but it was kind of cool to think I was exposing this little blank slate to all of these brand new things.

And then last week she got her immunization shots and I had to give her baby Tylenol drops every 4 hours. They’re grape flavored and I thought, damn, that’s the first time she’s tasted anything other than breast milk or formula.

All of this is not exactly a revelation to experienced parents, and maybe I’m just sleep deprived, but it kind of amazed me. It’s not just the big firsts that matter (smiling, walking, talking), but there are also thousands of small firsts that are happening every day.

Tiger Woods. Super baby.

So a couple of mornings ago I’m watching Regis and Kelly (what can I say? I’m a fan of the Ripa), and Tiger Woods is on. They’re asking him all the typical questions, and then someone mentions (I think Regis) that Tiger started playing golf at the age of six months. “Six months?” Kelly asked incredulously. “Yeah,” Tiger says, “I was walking at six months.” I almost took the bottle out of my baby’s mouth and threw it at the television.

Six months and walking? My baby’s only two months old but already I know I’ll be signing her up for gymnastics lessons if she’s standing up by January, let alone walking. I’m sorry Tiger – no way man. Walking takes some serious motor skills. Unfortunately I can’t find any online reference to Tiger actually walking at six months, so it’s possible I heard him wrong (obviously I don’t think I did), but there are plenty of references to him starting playing golf at six months. His official profile says:

“He was not out of the crib before he took an interest in golf, at age 6 months, watching as his father hit golf balls into a net and imitating his swing.”

Fair enough. Then I suppose you could say that at two months my daughter has taken an interest in burping, listening to her father and imitating his gas. I just hope she doesn’t become a champion someday.