Babytalk magazine poll reveals absolutely nothing.

If you ask me, parenting magazines are primarily the province of moms. I've never read one that wasn't mom-centric and that treated dads in any way equally. When I first had a baby I used to get worked up about this kind of stuff, but quite frankly now that my baby is a toddler I don't have time for that kind of indulgence. And I get it - men don't buy parenting magazines, so advertisers target women reading parenting magazines, and you aren't going to get one that caters to men too. We've got blogs if we want to get a male parenting perspective (and they've been doing the job pretty well for me for the past year and a half).

So today I saw this news blurb about a poll of new parents that Babytalk magazine recently ran. (Babytalk, for those of us that weren't aware, has apparently recently debuted "Unique New Positioning" and a new tagline, "Straight talk for new moms." "Straight talk" as opposed to the confusing "Babytalk" they were previously getting.) Anyway, the news article said that the poll revealed a "mom-dad-baby love triangle." Here are the conclusions:

• More than two-thirds of the men said their wives don't pay as much attention to them as they did before the baby.
• The majority of women feel more connected to their babies than to their husbands.
• Half of the men feel sexually neglected by their wives; 19 percent feel emotionally neglected.

I am so sick of reading these "polls" that purport to reveal some hidden truth, but really just try to stir up some contrived publicity for a magazine (usually through a catchy headline like "mom-dad-baby love triangle"). Why is this particular poll idiotic?

• Of course the mother of your child won't pay as much attention to you as she did before she had the baby. YOU JUST HAD A FREAKING BABY. There's a lot to do. You probably aren't paying as much attention to your wife either.
• I'm a dude, but even I understand that it's probably impossible to feel more connected to anyone other than the human being that recently came out of your vagina. I'm not bothered by this at all. It doesn't mean your wife doesn't love you or still feel connected to you too.
• Sexually neglected? I'm not sure how the poll was worded, but again, YOU JUST HAD A FREAKING BABY. If you thought you'd have just as much sex as you did before you had a newborn, then you should have rethought the unprotected sex in the first place. There is no way any "new parent" is as sexually active as they were before the baby arrived - which is completely normal. And some dudes might interpret that as "neglect" because, well, dudes are always horny.

New moms, dads polled [Knight Ridder via News-Leader.com]

Vidster.

Is it just me, or does it seem like the promise of new technologies is finally starting to pay off? When I was in junior high I got my first film camera, a Bell & Howell that took 110 film. It was so awesome (to me at least) I kept it in its protective plastic case (which was about three times bigger than the camera itself) whenever I wasn't using it. The idea of being able to have my own movie camera was so impossible I would have never even thought of it. But that's not the world my daughter is growing up in.

Mattel has recently announced the Vidster (pictured), and from what I've read it seems like they've got it right. For $80 you get a fully functioning, durable video camera (no LCD viewer though), that stores video to an SD Memory card (it comes with a 32 MB card, but you could upgrade it of course). It also runs on 4 AA batteries and ships with video editing software for kids. In my mind this is exactly right. The memory card means no tapes or fine mechanical moving parts for a child to break, and the fact that it runs on AA batteries means no freak-outs from your kid when the camera isn't charged up when he or she wants it. Plus, spending time with your young Fellini editing a movie that they shot is the kind of dad/kid activity that I'm all about. I'm guessing this is going to be a popular Christmas gift this year.

Makin' Movies with the Vidster [PC World via Shiny Shiny]
Also on MDD - First digital camera.

Blockbuster baby announcements.

When it came to sending out baby announcements, we opted to go with 2Peas1Pod. It's a small business set up by a mom/graphic designer, and we were very happy with the results. Another designer sent me a link recently to his baby announcement business called 5 Star Baby, where he makes personalized birth announcements that look like movie posters. It's a cute idea, and clever enough without being too "clever" (anyone ever gotten one of these Hershey candy bar "HERESHEIS" announcements?).  I can't vouch for it personally, but the business looks similar to 2Peas1Pod, with personalized service and attention, and it's probably something that most of your friends and family haven't seen before.

Check them out at 5starbaby.com.

Also on MDD - Birth Announcing

News links for a Thursday.

Meet the Modern Mr. Mom [The Daily Californian via RebelDad]
This is a humor/essay piece by a college student in Berkeley about how he aspires to be a stay-at-home dad. It's interesting, because while he's not exactly right about some of it, his insights are pretty good. To wit: "When you're a nine-to-five dad, your job is to provide for the quality of life for your family. When you're a stay-at-home dad, your job is to define the quality of life for your family. What would you rather be doing?"

Science’s Hope of Two Genetic Dads [Gay City News (Where exactly is Gay City? It sounds like it might be a fun place to visit sometime.)]
Here's something to freak out right-wing anti-gay-marriage super-Christian Republicans. Scientists are looking into the possibilities of using stem cells to give children of gay dads some of the genetic material of each. I'm all for it, but isn't this just another distraction for the opponents of stem cell research to use to convince small-minded people about how "evil" it is? Which is not to say they shouldn't do it.

Grandmother fired for Katrina absences [Boston Globe]
A grandma from Kansas City decides to look after her granddaughter (who's parents had been stranded in New Orleans) instead of going to her job on an assembly line, which gets her fired. It's despicable no doubt, but it's interesting to me how many news outlets picked up this story. I'm guessing she's not the only victim of insensitive a-holes in the wake of Katrina.

Goodbye Being Daddy. Hello Callooh.

Where have I been? I was checking out some Dad blogs today when I realized pioneer dad-blogger Brian Cassidy has decided to stop posting to his blog Being Daddy. His reasons make a lot of sense (I can seem myself eventually reaching similar conclusions someday) but I'll still miss the posts. He always had a good combination of stuff he found on the Internet and personal stories. But all is not lost. He's keeping up the site and it's archives, and he's decided to start a new blog for kids called Callooh.

Callooh is a weblog specifically for kids with cool stuff for them to check out. The best part is it isn't just "kiddy stuff," but all kinds of interesting things. Yesterday he linked to a video of a 5th grade class performing Devo's "Whip It" (anything with Devo I'm a fan of) and he also has this link to an on-line magic trick that is, quite frankly, freaking me out. (If you know how it works, please leave a comment. I can't figure it out OK. After the fifth time I finally got it. Now I feel like a dope, but it's still a good trick -mdd). If you're looking for some cool stuff to look at with your kid on the computer, Callooh is a good place to start.

Who's your podcasting daddy?

As a SAHD who spends the vast majority of his time with a 13-month-old daughter who has a lot to say but zero vocabulary (literally), I listen to a lot of talk radio during the day. NPR, sports talk radio, Howard Stern - it doesn't matter much. Without any coworkers to talk to, I end up listening to other people talk. But one thing I haven't really checked out much is podcasts.

The other day I got an email from Cliff Knopik, co-host of a new podcast called Who's Your Daddy? asking me to check it out. Their show is a 30-45 minute talk show where they talk about their dad-lives and families and other stuff going on with them personally. They've only got 5 episodes so far and it seems like their still working out the kinks, but it's definitely worth a listen. Their website has links to the episodes, but I figured out last night that if you've got iTunes you can subscribe to their podcast (just search the music store for podcasts with the keyword "dad" and it's there).

iTunes has a few other dad podcasts out there too. Rebel Dad has done some podcasts in the past (and you can subscribe to him too), though he doesn't have any episodes available through iTunes. Now if I could only get my replacement iPod back from Apple (I had the busted battery) I'd be all set.

Check out Cliff and Aaron on Who's Your Daddy? (on any MP3 player of your choice), or check out a one minute MP3 promo of their show. [NOTE: WYD is no longer produced and these links have been removed per their request. -mdd 2-10-07]

Also on MDD - Not a NASCAR Dad - an iPod Dad.

The Trio Bike.

Now that it's finally cooling off in the desert southwest, I've been thinking about getting something to attach to the bike so Madame and I can go riding together. And like it was fate, last week I was tipped to a new bike/child carrier combo called the Trio Bike.

The Trio Bike is a bike/bike with child carrier/stroller combination. The child carrier (which holds two kids apparently) attaches to the front of the bike, but it can also be removed and pushed around like a stroller. I'm guessing it would be best for people who live in a city without a car. Actually, only a city that was used to people on bikes - which I suppose would make it best for people who live in small, ancient European cities. Or China. I like the idea, but the stroller adaptation seems way too big to use practically (from this picture it looks like you could barely fit it in a grocery store aisle). This definitely isn't the bicycle child carrier for me, but I'm always happy to pass along a good idea to my faithful readers from Beijing.

The Trio Bike [Transport Trends.com]

Also on MDD - The WeeRide Bicycle Seat.

Have monitor, will travel.

I think by now I've settled into my dad-hood pretty well and I'm all but adjusted to my new life. Even more, I think I've gotten over most of my selfish, personal sadness at the lifestyle (freedom, really) that I left behind. The one thing that I miss the most though is being able to travel like an adult.

We take Madame everywhere, and usually it works out for us pretty nicely. So a few days ago we went away for labor day weekend to someplace without family, where we could relax and get away for a while. It was great, but it really brought home the fact that some of the things that are so easy to deal with your child at home (or in someone else's house) are almost impossible in a hotel room. And I'm not talking about breakfast or bath time. The thing that sucks the most is (unless you've got a suite with a door) is everyone is pretty much going to bed at the same time. That is of course, unless you've got a room by the pool.

It was really just dumb luck on our part. We arrived, went to our room and realized we were adjacent to the pool deck. In the old days I probably would have been annoyed that my room had no view and would likely be loud. But we quickly realized that with a monitor (that we didn't bring) we could hang out at the pool while Madame took her nap during the day, or when she went to bed in the early evening. So after a quick trip to Walgreen's to pick up a monitor (who knew they'd have one there? My wife did as it turns out) we were in business. Let me tell you, it worked like a charm.

So if you want to salvage an adult moment or two when you're traveling, throw the monitor in the suitcase. And request that crappy room by the pool. You'll probably be the only one who loves it.

Katrina.

I wasn't sure if I should blog about this or not, but really it's all I'm thinking about this morning. And now I read that some people are calling today Hurricane Katrina Blog Relief Day, so I guess this is appropriate. I don't have anything to add personally, other than try to send some money if you can. This is what I've been reading this morning:

Coverage on CNN.com. As if all of this wasn't unthinkable enough, I'm reading about looters and criminals taking advantage of this disaster (one even shot a cop in the head). I want to believe that horrible situations bring out the best in people, but the sad reality is the reverse is also true..

Survival of New Orleans blog. [via Boing Boing] This is crazy. A guy is holed up on the 10th floor of a high-rise in a data center live-blogging what's going on (from his perspective). There's even a camera he's set up, though I haven't been able to get it working yet.

Wikipedia entry on Hurricane Katrina.

Donate to the Red Cross via Amazon.com. The Red Cross' web site is bogged down, so this might be the best place to get your donation in. Or by phone here:
American Red Cross
1-800-HELP NOW (435-7669) English, or 1-800-257-7575 Spanish

Late summer blog ennui.

Well, there was no post yesterday and after a lot of thinking and looking around the Internet today for something cool to post I've come up with nothing. It's back to school time but my one year old doesn't go to school so I don't have much of an opinion about back to school. There's a good piece about circumcision in Slate (by Christopher Hitchens) that I was found via DaddyTypes, but we had a little girl so I'm not feeling that empowered to spout off my current thoughts about genital mutilation. And I found an article in the BBC News that says a study to be published in the British Journal of Psychology has determined that women score on average 5 points lower on an IQ test than men, and are therefore less intelligent. But I'm not going to touch that one with a ten foot pole. What do I look like? A woman?

Two shops to check out in LA.

Even though our tip to LA two weekends ago was not without it's trials, I was able to find a couple of cool kid's stuff boutiques to visit. Both of them were near each other in Silver Lake, a cool neighborhood in LA that I had never been to before but wish I had. (It seemed to me to be kind of like a place where the urban hipsters in LA move to when they can't afford - or want - to live in West Hollywood.)

The first one we went to was Grometville, mostly because I wanted to pick up some bath tub stickies I had read about in DaddyTypes. Grometville is a pretty typical baby boutique store with a lot of clothes and cool gift items. Actually a lot of great gift items - I particularly liked the double snapsuit set for twins from Wry Baby that said "Stop Copying Me"  that I had never seen before. We picked up some stickies and a gift for a friend and then headed a block down the street to another shop called Furthur Kids (no website, here's a link to their entry in CitySearch). Furthur Kids had more toys and some furniture and was equally worth checking out (we got a sweet tambourine for Madame there).

Then we made a quick trip for dad to Han Cholo in Echo Park for a sweet belt buckle. But unfortunately they only had it in silver plate - and if I ever bought a buckle for $1200 I'd have to kick my own ass.

News links for a Thursday.

Motorola phones let parents monitor kids [Business Week]
Motorola is putting out a new line of cellphones for kids with tracking and "censorship software." I'm imagining a v-chip for phones. It was bound to happen I guess.

Sperm donor reality show? [Reuters]
I have to admit. I'm a fan of Big Brother. It's my biggest guilty pleasure. It seems the evil genius behind it, John de Mol, is going to start a new show where a "woman searches for a potential sperm donor to conceive a child."  I'm surprised Fox hasn't done it yet.

Health Watch: Stay At Home Dads [KFOX TV, El Paso, Texas]
Another on-line article created from a TV news piece about stay at home dads. Nothing new here, except they seem to suggest that the reason that it's OK for dads to stay at home is, well, I'll just re-post it here:

The biggest job for moms seems to be nurturing, so are 6 year-old Lauren and 1 year old twins Connor and Sofi getting as much from dad as they would get from mom? Studies say yes, before baby is born, dads experience a surge in nurturing hormones like estrogen and prolactin, which is the hormone coursing through you when you're in love. The essentially male hormone testosterone dips by a third once baby is born, a dip that lasts a few months into baby's life.

Even if this hormone dipping and surging is true, it has nothing to do with a SAHD's ability to nurture their kid. I guess people in Texas need some sort of medical excuse for why men can take care of their kids just as good as women.

Parents beat principal who made schoolgirls strip [Reuters, India]
A principal in India made some of his female students take off their clothes so he could take pictures of them and post them on the Internet. So their parents beat his ass and then handed him over to the police. Good for them.

The Bullshit Job Title Generator
OK. This isn't a news article, but it had me laughing last night. Click on the "Generate Bullshit Title" button and get a great new job title. Before my SAHD life, I had to deal with a lot of people with job titles like these. My favorites so far: "Dynamic Operations Assistant," "Senior Interactions Architect," and "Legacy Response Facilitator."

Thirteenth month developments.

Another month has passed and it's official now. We've stopped calling her "the baby." It just isn't fair to her anymore. She's more active and smarter now than she's ever been, and even though she'll always be my baby, right now she's more my toddler. With all the good and bad that comes with it.

Standing. She's not walking yet, but she's really close. Right now she's not only pulling up on furniture and cruising, but she's started to let go. Usually it seems like she forgets that she's not holding on, and when she realizes it she falls on her bottom. Or we notice what she's doing, make a big fuss which gets her clapping, which causes her to loose her balance and fall. I'm not sure why I want her to walk so badly (things are only going to get tougher running around after her), but I do.

Little Miss Finicky. Madame has always been a good eater. Pretty much everything we've put in front of her she's eaten, but recently she just stopped. Now she makes it through maybe half a jar of baby food before pushing the spoon away, favoring finger foods she can feed herself. This is good I suppose, but it definitely doesn't make things easier. The other day she even told me what she wanted. I was feeding her some pureed vegetables for lunch and she pushed the spoon away, pointing at some bananas behind me. So I fed her a banana, which she loved. It was cool actually, kind of like the first conversation we ever had, except there were no words and I had to clean banana out of her hair afterward.

Blow me a kiss. She still won't give me a smooch on the cheek when I ask, but her Grandma taught her to blow kisses a couple of weeks ago. Ask her for a kiss now and she'll touch her palm to her mouth repeatedly, which is closer. The best though is when she does it to strangers completely out of the blue, like she did to this little boy in a high chair at a restaurant the other day. I think I'm going to be in trouble in a couple of years.

Lessons learned in LA.

We just got back last night from a long weekend in Los Angeles, and it was a good trip. Every time we travel with Madame we get a little better at doing it, and we learn a little more. The difficult part is she keeps growing and changing, so just when we think we know exactly how to handle things, she decides to change the rules. So, at almost 13 months, this is what we learned:

• Damn the baby needs her nap. We knew that this trip would be a lot different from her usual weekday schedule where she gets a nap in the middle of the day, but we figured it would be OK. We thought she would sleep here and there in the car on the way to stuff, and in the end she'd have the same sunny disposition she usually has. That, as it turns out, was completely wrong. By the end of the day she was cranky and beside herself; barely able to function. Which brings me to my next revelation.
• You can really only do one thing per day. Going out in the morning for some shopping, then lunch, then a museum, then dinner out is way too aggressive. I have to learn that this isn't my old life, and even though there's tons more I want to do, I need to pare it down. Because ultimately stuff starts getting less and less fun the crankier she gets.
• King Tut was a let down. Where was the golden death mask, the boyhood throne and the big senet game I remember seeing when I was a kid back in the 70s? The exhibit was still worth seeing, but if you do get to go, know that it's not the same as what you may remember. And don't bring your 13 month old, at least to LACMA. The exhibit is way too crowded, people don't move, and even though strollers are allowed, eventually your kid will start to loose it; no matter how much of a nap she got on the way there.
• Caffe Angeli wasn't exactly what I thought it would be. On Saturday we had dinner on Melrose at this Italian rustico restaurant called Caffe Angeli. I had read that the chef had re-worked the restaurant to cater to parents who wanted a great meal in a place where their kids would be welcome too, so I thought it would be perfect. (Apparently they do fun things for kids like give them pizza dough to make into shapes for their own personalized pizza). Although the staff was extremely friendly and accommodating, and we had very early reservations; we were the only family there with a child of any age, which wasn't really what I had in mind. But my dinner was very, very good (and if Madame had been less cranky it would have been great).
• The Boston Red Sox are still the greatest sports team ever. We took Madame to her first Red Sox game on Sunday in Anaheim, and the Red Sox won in dramatic fashion. It was great, but I do pity anyone who lives in southern California and has to drive north/south on any freeway. US 5 is absolutely miserable.

Tricky & Titch

MDD reader Sarah sent me a link a few weeks ago to yet another online baby boutique, but this one is pretty good. Tricky & Titch describe themselves as "Fresh and modern on a smaller scale" and I have to say the designs definitely reflect that. Like pretty much every other online kid store, they sell baby clothes, bibs, hats and blankets with cute messages, but what I like is that they're not too cutesy, just really simple. There are shirts that say "big brother" or "little sister" or, my favorite, "{gorgeous}". If they made a "Monkey" t-shirt for a girl then that one would be my favorite, but I guess they figure "monkey" is more of a boy appellation. They haven't met my Madame obviously.

They're Canadian, so you'll have to figure out how much "$30 CDN" is. Though the upside is, as Sarah pointed out to me, they make the products themselves and don't just slap a design on an already pre-made shirt. And isn't that really what you want when you're paying $30 CDN?

Tricky & Titch [via Sarah - thanks]

News links for a Friday.

AOL: Dads Outspending Moms for Back to School [DMNews]
Apparently some direct marketing researchers have found that dads have budgeted more money for back to school stuff than moms. Surprise! They've figured out maybe they should be marketing to the dads too.

1 in 25 Dads May Not Be Child's Biological Father [LA Times]
This one is, I must admit, a little shocking to me. A study from Liverpool shows that 4% of men worldwide are not the biological fathers of children they believe are theirs. And (obviously) most of it is attributed to infidelity. Damn.

Parents Council slams sale of Playboy logo stationery [Ireland On-Line]
Parents in Ireland are pissed that their kids are buying spiral notebooks with the Playboy bunny. But when does a brand just become a brand and not really have much to do with what it signifies? In other words, isn't sometimes a bunny just a bunny?

'60 Minutes' Focuses on Parents Hosting Alcohol Parties for Minors [PR Newswire]
How come none of my friends had parents like this when I was growing up? But now as a dad, I realized the parents of my friends were just SANE.

Parents Accuse Snoop Dogg Of Pee Wee Football Sabotage [MTV.com]
Football dad Snoop Dogg decided to start his own pee wee football league in southern California, effectively destroying the existing league. Snoop Dogg Pee Wee sabotage? Sabotage you say??

Baby longnecks.

When I was a little kid we had candy cigarettes. Looking back that seems like a pretty messed up thing, but this beats it by a mile. In Japan they are marketing non-alcoholic beer to children called "Kidsbeer" (and they've been doing it since 2003). Here are direct quotes from the article:

Asaba [the creator of Kidsbeer] said kids and other people "can raise a glass with this, even if they cannot drink any liquor."

Satoshi Tomoda, president of the beverage maker, said: "Children copy and mimic adults.

"If you get this drink ready on such occasions as events and celebrations attended by kids, it would make the occasions even more entertaining."

"Even kids cannot stand life unless they have a drink," reads the product's advertising slogan.

Is there some massive cultural disconnect that I'm missing here? There has to be, right? "Even kids cannot stand life unless they have a drink"??? Are you kidding me? It sounds like they wrote it in The Onion.

Kidsbeer proves hit suds for minors [The Japan Times] via Boing Boing
The Kidsbeer Shop if you're interested in picking some up (and you read Japanese).

Modern design baby blog-a-palooza.

See? I told you the kid's modern furniture revolution is taking place. To celebrate two new categories of products ("kids" and "baby"), modern furniture store Design Public is now in the second week of what they're calling their "Baby Blog-a-palooza!" It's a great idea actually - they've asked product and textile designers as well as popular parenting bloggers to write an entry about design as it pertains to children. (Apparently I wasn't popular enough to be among the "popular parenting bloggers" - even though I've been preaching the modern kid's stuff revolution for almost a year now. *tear*).

Anyway, it's definitely worth checking out. I like the posts by the designers, particularly Sophie Demenge from Oeuf, and I have to admit some of the posts by the other bloggers are really good too. It's great that people are talking about good design for kids, and it's even better that now there are more and more places to get it.

(I was going to include a list of all the the cool kid's stuff I've writen about in the past, like Blik wall decals (with a picture of part of our nursery), or my search for the perfect high chair, but then I realized I should probably just link to my Furniture/Decor category.)

Check out more modern kid's furniture and decor on Modern Day Dad.

"Don't Forget"

In the old days we used to get out our suitcase, pack come clothes, a magazine or two, some headphones and go on vacation. With the addition of one small baby the amount of crap we have to bring is incredible.

I came across this list while cleaning up the other day (pictured). My wife wrote it as we were getting ready to go on vacation to upstate NY last month. This isn't just the crap we brought, it's the crap we especially didn't want to forget:

Don't Forget                                             Coverup
                                                              Bathing Suits
                                                               Jammies
Monitor                                                   Hats/Watersocks/Floaty
Wipes                                                      Sunblock
Diapers/Little Swimmers                          Bugspray
Washcloths                                        Bday gifts/crown
Bottles/Sippy Cups                             Gifts/Games
Bottlebrush
Formula/Cereal/Fruit/Veggie/Dinner/Yogurt
Eyedrops/Tylenol/Dropper/?Thermometer/Nailclip
Snack Trap                                                            Toys
Bibs
Spoons                                                                Videocamera
Babysoap                                                              Camera
Hairbrush                                                                Laptop
Pack & Play                                                          Chargers
Pack & Play Sheets
Outlet Plugs                                                        ?Towels
                                                                          ?Umbrella
Making Dresses
                                                                           Twister Towel

Spike TV. First network for men dads.

I don't ever really watch short videos on the internet, and I watch Spike TV less. Is Spike TV usually this funny?

Dude, You're a Dad. [Hedonistica]  (Click on the image to get the video to play.)