Post-trip thoughts.

Now that I'm back, here are my thoughts on my trip to Chicago, in brief little notes to those who had an impact (completely copped from The Zero Boss).

To Glenn F. Tilton, president and CEO of United Airlines: Mr. Tilton, "Ted" airlines sucks. From the buggy "choose your seat" menu in the self-check-in computer to the downright rude gate people, the whole experience was terrible. Apparently on "Ted" you don't pre-board children or infants (just frequent flyers and other muckety-mucks), which along with the completely retarded "look at your boarding pass at your boarding grouping number and then get in line when we tell you to" system, makes boarding a plane take an extra half hour at least. You want to cut costs and have an actually profitable business? Maybe you should find someplace else to do it besides nickel and dimeing your passengers, making us pay $5 for a crappy snack pack or not giving us the whole can of soda. It only makes us feel worse about the horrible experience we are already having. At least you didn't lose my bags.

To the Ted gate check bitch at gate 22B in O'Hare who, after telling us they "normally don't pre-board infants" (after her co-worker told us they would), threw two gate check tickets at us saying "HERE!": Have fun on the unemployment line.

To the two dudes (one going, one coming) who had to sit in the next to my wife, me and my monkey of a 10 month old little daughter in our lap: Thanks for being so cool.

To my Boston Red Sox: Thank you for crushing the Cubs on Sunday night and making it one of the best times I've ever had at a baseball game ever.

To the Chicago Cubs fans in Wrigley (and elsewhere): As the guy in the crowd not rooting for the home team, I've never met more good-natured, fun loving fans in my life. Thanks for being so cool and thanks for the Old Style.

To our family and friends who put us up, babysat for us, cooked for us and generally made the trip the great time that it was: Thanks. We'd love to return the favor soon.

The jogging stroller.

For Mother's Day I got the modern day mom a jogging stroller. We had been talking about one for a while, so I figured it would be a cool thing to get her for her first mother's day - especially since it was baby-related.

I did the research and ended up getting The Reebok Velocity, and so far we're really happy with it. The brakes, wheels and other functioning parts work great, and it's got plenty of pockets for baby stuff, cellphones and water bottles. My wife went for a run with the baby the other day, and she said everything went well, though she did get blisters on her hands from holding the rubber grip (I think biking gloves are in her near future).

Reebok does make a more heavy duty jogging stroller for cross-country running I guess, but on pavement and even dirt paths this stroller works well.

Reebok Velocity. $179.99 from Amazon.com.

Old school McDonaldland.

Today we're going to Chicago to visit with Grandma & Grandpa and to watch my beloved Red Sox beat up on the Cubs. Consequently today's post is empty short, but I did want to call your attention to a one thing.

In the comments of my post about the changing face of Ronald McDonald two days ago, MDD reader P.R. Nelson posted a link to this: Two All-Beef Patties Special Sauce Lettuce Cheese Pickles Onion on a Sesame Seed LIE! [Stayfreemagazine.org]. It's basically comments and links to video of really old McDonald's McDonaldland commercials. It's really something amazing to check out.

Well, off to the airport. Wish me luck and make sure to look for me on ESPN on Sunday night.

Kid's music mystery.

Before I had a baby I thought I'd basically still get to enjoy the things I like, only with a baby in tow. I especially figured the baby would be super hip, listening to all the music I enjoy and eschewing what I perceived to be annoying and often insipid kid's music. I definitely have a baby that likes music, but as it turns out, it's kid's music that she loves.

I don't know why - it's so much of a mystery to me I can't even bullshit a reason for it (and believe me, I'm pretty good at talking out of my ass). She'll listen to the music that I like, but it's "The Bear Went Over The Mountain" coming out of her activity table that she rocks her little butt to. I even broke down and played one of the children's CDs we got for a shower gift the other day, and sure enough, she loved it.

I've spoken with other people who have had similar experiences, but I'd love to hear from someone who's got a legitimate explanation as to why those kids songs work so well. I know simple melodies and sweet voices work, but how come it's not bad-ass guitar and dope beats?

Also, suggestions for kid's CDs that don't suck are also greatly appreciated.

Extreme Makeover, Clown Edition.

As if people needed another excuse to hate clowns, McDonald's has decided their mascot Ronald McDonald isn't projecting quite the image that they want. So to freshen him up they're giving him a closer-cropped haircut and clothes that show off his lean, trim figure.  He's also going to be more active in commercials, playing sports and encouraging kids to join him. Hey, if you want people to believe your food is healthy, you can't have a fat clown peddling it.

Thankfully my baby isn't old enough to demand a happy meal yet, but I know that day is coming. I just hope when she's old enough to make her own decisions about food, she'll make the right ones.

I hate marketing.

Ronald McDonald turns health guru [BBC News]

Previously on MDD - Suckling a Big Mac

News links for a Tuesday.

Study warns of airbag danger to teens [CNN.com]
Forget about that feet-touching-the-floor business. Now you have to be at least 15 years old to sit in the front seat, because the things that are supposed to help, actually hurt. Though I suppose it will eliminate the "I called front seat" arguments that my sister and I used to have when we were kids.

Lactose intolerant! [NY Daily News.com  via DaddyTypes]
Those yentas on The View make jokes about how uncomfortable they feel when women breastfeed, and over a hundred beautiful, lactating moms show up on the street to show them how it's done. I probably shouldn't get so much happiness from bad press for The View, but I do.

Jilette Names Daughter Moxie CrimeFighter [Yahoo News via Waxy]
There really isn't any need to impose your own smart ass-ness permanently on your kid (or at least until she's old enough to change her name herself), but his reasoning did make me laugh so maybe it's a wash.

Fastest way of cooling a six pack [KWC Blog]
OK. This isn't really a news article. But instead of stupid, "fathers day is coming soon so let's find a story that has something to do with dads" story like this one, write an article about something useful, like how to get my beer colder, faster.

Textbooks? That's so last millienium.

Ah California. The state I'm so close to, but still so far away from. Some Democrat geniuses in the state assembly there have passed a bill that will ban school districts from purchasing textbooks with more than 200 pages. The idea is, the textbooks will give students some of the information, but then there will be an appendix of WEB SITES that students should look at to finish their learning.

Let me get this straight. Just because we now have this "miracle of the Internet" we should send kids home with less learning materials and revise teaching methods that have worked since, I don't know, the ancient Greeks? And thank god every kid in California has a computer with Internet access, because if there's one thing you can trust in the world, it's the veracity of the information you find on the Internet. Who needs the clunky old books that your Grandparents used? We shouldn't be encouraging kids to actually open books - we need to encourage kids to use the Internet. Everyone knows the Internet is like freaking brussel sprouts to a kid, but the Internet is where the TRUTH is!! It's so obvious! How come California is the only state to figure this out yet??

OK. I'll stop now.

Bill puts page limit on California textbooks [Sacramento Bee]

Hey Cucaracha. Wanna get high?

In my post the other day about the activity table I bought for Madame, I mentioned "La Cucaracha" and linked to the lyrics on El Mariachi.com. At the time I didn't notice, but last night I saw that the last line of the first verse is, "Marijuana que fumar."

Say what now? Is that right or is someone over at El Mariachi.com busting my gringo huevos? Apparently not only is it correct, but the Mexican folk song that kids all over the US learn, the song that made it's way onto my kid's Fisher Price learning table, is about a cockroach who can't go on a trip because he's fresh out of pot, weed, kind-bud, chronic, or whatever else the kids are calling it these days. I had my wife ask her Mexican-American coworker about it who said that yes, the song was about getting high, but they didn't teach it to school kids in Mexico like they do here. Maybe that's why I've never heard Dora sing it.

Here's the lyric (as translated by "Cecil Adams" of the Straight Dope):

   La cucaracha, la cucaracha
   Ya no puede caminar
   Porque no tiene, porque le falta
   Marijuana que fumar. 

   (The cockroach, the cockroach
   Now he can't go traveling
   Because he doesn't have, because he lacks
   Marijuana to smoke.)

La Cucaracha lyrics [El Mariachi.com]
What are the words to "La Cucaracha"? [The Straight Dope.com] A very good, detailed explanation of this weird "Spanish equivalent to Yankee Doodle."

Star Wars snapsuits. A hot topic.

[UPDATE: If you've found this page and you're looking for Star Wars baby clothes, check out the updated post:

Star Wars Clothes (Onesies, Snapsuits, T-Shirts and Hats) for Babies and Kids]

A couple of weeks ago I blogged about how I couldn't find any Star Wars onesies (or snapsuits, or bodysuits, or whatever), but yesterday MDD reader Kate J tipped me to where they had some - mall store Hot Topic.

Wait a minute. Hot Topic? The same store where pre-teen kids who just discovered punk rock buy their Dead Kennedys hats? The same store where I felt old for being in there when I was 21? Well, yes. And I must admit, these were the bodysuits I was looking for. I'm kind of partial to the Princess Leia, but they've also got "Daddy's Little Ewok", "Stormpoopers" and the Darth Vader themed "Who's Your Daddy?"

Check them out at the Hot Topic on-line store. Which is more my speed really, as I think I'd still feel weird going into one at the mall. [via Kate J - thanks!]

Activity table.

The party is over, as they say, for me and my baby. Madame is twenty times more mobile than she was two weeks ago and all she wants to do is move around, which means the days of putting her on the floor or in the corner of the couch so she can play quietly are over. She's even started to pull herself up on furniture, so we thought we'd get something to encourage her. Even though I'm pretty wary of toys that play annoying songs, after an impulse buy at Babies 'R Us we came home with the Fisher Price Laugh & Learn™ Learning Table.

The songs are indeed annoying, but she loves it. In fact she really loves it, which means the scenario where I end up listening to the seemingly never ending refrain of "La Cucaracha" is now happening in my family room every day. Fortunately the legs are removable, because it's not heavy enough to support her while she's trying to pull up on it. With the legs on all she does is end up pulling it down on top of herself, which is pretty much the opposite of encouraging her to pull up. Hopefully the legs will extend the life of the toy once she's started walking.

Fisher Price Laugh & Learn Learning Table (because two "learns" are better than one). $32.99 from Amazon.com. (Not exactly recommended, but not discouraged either.)

News links for a Tuesday.

'Tis the season for celebrity commencement speakers, but it's too bad graduating students in American Fork, Utah couldn't manage one. They're getting US Patent and Trademark Office Director John Dudas, who will, instead of inspiring them, scold them on the evils of file sharing. Oh. Did I mention the graduating class is a class of SIXTH GRADERS?
Never too young for a copyright lesson. [News.com]

Apparently students worried about having their future tech job being taken away by someone in India are deciding not to get involved in the whole computer science thing in the first place.
Fewer students seek computer degrees. [The Detroit News]

What's the British Empire coming to? Beckham isn't even one of the top 10 celebrity dads of the year??
Beckham Slips Out of Celebrity  Dads Top 10. [Scotsman.com]

Happy Memorial Day.

Happy Memorial Day. Stop reading blogs, go outside, have a beer and grill something.

Darth Tater puns.

As I've already posted a while ago, I love the Darth Tater. It seems Mr. Miller, a 7th grade teacher from Seattle, challenged his students to come up with some Darth Tater puns. There are a lot of good ones, but my favorite is actually a tie between:

"Trust your peelings." by Emily
and
"Luke, I am your farmer." by Andrew.

After trying to think up my own, all I could come up with was:
"You are part of the rebel alliance and a tater. Take her away."
and
"No. Fry not. Bake or bake not. There is no fry."

Theirs are better.

Darth Tater Puns [via Boing Boing]

Restaurant toy.

Check out the Sassy "Fascination Station" (doesn't "Fascination Station" sound like a bad mid-70s rock group?). We got one from my dad quite a few months ago, and at the time we just put it with the rest of Madame's toys. Then one day we were looking for a toy to bring with us to a restaurant, and a light bulb went off. It has a suction cup on the base.

Now it pretty much has a permanent home in my diaper bag. The wheel on it spins around and provides a pretty decent distraction at the table, and while the suction doesn't work perfectly, it's enough so that if she finally gets it off the table we can intercept it before she throws it on the floor.

Are there any go-to restaurant toys you use and love? Suggestions are always appreciated.

Sassy Fascination Station. $9.95 at Baby Age.com

Good deals at Oliebollen.com.

Margaret Schankler, chief purveyor over at Oliebollen.com, sent me an email asking me to check out her store. Normally when people send me these kinds of requests I ignore them, but Oliebollen is one of those names I've heard before, so I checked it out. It seems like a pretty cool online kid's boutique. They've got tons of clothes (which, unless it's novelty onesies, I find hard to shop for online), as well as toys, gear and furniture. Plus it's mom-owned and operated, which has to count for something.

But to be honest, the main reason I'm blogging about her store is she sent me a coupon code to use - BLOGMAY31 - which gets you 20% off any and all items on a single order placed before 6/15/05. It's a pretty good deal, especially on the bigger items. 20% off can get you that sweet Oeuf Crib for $659.20, or the Oeuf Baby Lounger (pictured) for $78.40. I'm not getting any kickbacks here (and I can't personally vouch for the store), but a good deal is always worth sharing.

Use coupon code BLOGMAY31 at Oliebollen.com now through June 15.

Fun with genetics.

Eye color is one of those things that I never really gave much thought to, until I had a baby. Here's something cool I found that gives the probabilities of what your child's eye color will be. I'm sure a piece of paper and a high school biology text opened to the chapter on genetics could probably help you do the same thing, but now we have the web and Flash applets so why bother?

What Color Eyes Would Your Children Have? (via sarah. word.)

Tenth month developments.

OK. Here's the part where I say "Holy crap, she's ten months old, which is almost a year." But seriously, she's almost a year old. Here's what she's been up to:

• Monkey. That's what we've been calling her recently. I'm learning that being smarter every day means being more inquisitive which means that she'll try her damnedest to get her hands on whatever she's interested in. The problem is her body hasn't really caught up with what her mind wants to do yet. She isn't crawling forward, but she's figured out to launch herself forward, roll to wherever she wants to go, and spin herself around to get it. She's can push herself backward, and she even pulled herself up to a standing position on a some furniture the other day -  which made us both elated and frightened at the same time.
• Four teeth and a lot of gumming.  At the beginning of her tenth month we started introducing some finger foods - like the Gerber fruit and veggie puffs. After about a week she figured out what she was doing, and I'm happy to report that now most of them end up in her mouth and not on the floor. She's trying all kinds of food now, from french fries to bananas, with varying degrees of success (and mess). She's also started using a sippy cup, and I even got her to drink her morning bottle almost all by herself the other day. It's amazing to watch this completely dependent little creature learn how to do the most basic things all by herself. Sometimes the smallest steps can be the biggest accomplishments.
• No.  Does the baby shake her head back and forth simply to avoid the spoon of food you are trying (unsuccessfully) to put into her mouth, or does she shake her head back and forth to say "No. I'm not hungry anymore"? I'm not sure, but sometimes it sure seems like she knows what it means. Then again, she also knows it will almost always get a reaction from the nearest adult around ("Oh. Isn't she so cute shaking her head "no."). I wonder if shaking your head back and forth means no in all cultures.
• "Mama?" "Dada."  Like I've blogged about already, she's pretty much got "mama" down pat. But no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get a meaningful "dad," "dada," "daddy," or anything close to it out of her. These past few weeks my new favorite phrase has been "No. Not Mama. Dada." If she's not careful someday my new favorite phrase might be, "No. You can't borrow the car tonight. If you had thought back when you were 10 months old to throw me a "dada" every now and then, then maybe. But tonight it's no."

This is not a Fugazi snapsuit.

I had a pretty funny idea for an infant "snapsuit" a couple of months ago, and for once it was an idea I thought I might be able to make some spare cash off of. So I worked out the design, uploaded it to Cafepress.com and set up the Modern Day Dad store. But my cash cow was not to be, because Cafepress froze the selling of the item because of copyright issues (they must be concerned about the Gerber onesie police). So this morning I was thinking about it and I figured, screw it, I should just give it away.

I'm not going to explain it - if you don't get it immediately you won't be interested in the first place. Use the file to make your own iron-on. It comes out pretty good.

Download thisisnotaonesie.png

Worth the sleep loss.

I'm happy to report that Star Wars Episode III was great, and seeing it at midnight with the other freaks fans was a lot of fun. This is of course all prelude to a weak excuse for a weak blog post today. I'm tired, which is really lame because my wife managed to get the same amount of sleep I did and she's at work now, which must suck way more. Have I mentioned recently how much she rules?

Quick review? There was more action and less boring plot exposition. Basically it ruled and was the movie everyone pretty much wanted to see two movies ago. It's also very much PG-13, so be wary of bringing your small kids to see it, no matter how much they love C3PO and R2D2. I'd recommend checking it out first to make sure it's OK for your own Jedi younglings. You won't mind seeing it twice, trust me.

In the mean time, check out the Star Wars Photoshop contest at Worth1000.com (via Boing Boing).

May the force be with you. Just not in 12-18 mos.

[UPDATE: If you've found this page and you're looking for Star Wars baby clothes, check out the updated post:

Star Wars Clothes (Onesies, Snapsuits, T-Shirts and Hats) for Babies and Kids]

We're going to the midnight showing of Star Wars tonight. I know. I'm a geek fan who has been burned twice before, but I still can't help myself. Although we won't be taking Madame (of course), my sister still wanted to know if I had any sweet Star Wars gear to dress her in today. It was a good idea I thought, but I don't have anything, and I can't say that I've ever seen anything in a store or online. So even though it's too late, I went shopping online last night to see what's out there.

The quick answer is almost nothing. There are some t-shirts for older boys at Target, and the official Star Wars Shop has some lame kids t-shirts with an M&M tie-in (I guess one brand just isn't enough). Other than that and one Star Wars "Celebration III" onesie I found over at Rebelscum.com, it seem Star Wars clothes for babies are pretty much the domain of eBay DIYers. The tshirts and onesies seem like something I might be able to do with my meager Photoshop skills and some iron-on paper, but I did think the Darth Vader baby costume was kind of cool.

Could I have found a merchandising niche Lucas hasn't exploited yet?