A modern baby's first Eames.

The last thing I bought for the baby’s nursery is also one of my favorite things in the room, the Eames “Hang-It-All.” Fourteen hooks with colorful wooden balls on the end of each one, it’s both very functional and great to look at. Even though Charles and Ray Eames are known primarily for their modern furniture designs, during their careers they designed quite a few things for children and families to explore and enjoy, from the Eames House of Cards to the movie Toccata for Toy Trains. The armshell rocking chair (now being reproduced in loving precision by Modernica) was even originally designed for a pregnant friend of Charles Eames.

Admittedly it’s a lot more than you would want to spend for a set of hooks, but it’s not just hooks, it’s Design.

Why my wife rules.

So the family went out to lunch today at a local restaurant. My wife let me know beforehand that I was off "baby duty" for today and she would take care of things. We were sitting at the table and Madame was having a post-bottle fuss, so my wife was trying to console her. Sitting across the table I couldn't help but give a couple of suggestions for things she might try (I've built up some experience by now, right?), to which she turned to me and said, "Hey, who's the dad today?"

Not a NASCAR dad.

In 2000 it was “Soccer Moms”. In 2004 “NASCAR Dads” is the newest hey-lets-stereotype-a-bunch-of-people-and-try-to-be-clever name for a voter group this November. However, it doesn’t describe me at all. And it’s not that I don’t like NASCAR, I do. (I can’t say I’m a fan, but I went to a race one time and besides being one of the loudest things I’ve ever experienced, it was a hell of a lot of fun.) But the name just doesn’t describe me. This got me thinking, what kind of "clever" dad-name could I be a part of? Here are some suggestions:

iPod Dads
Sleep-deprived Dads
Blogging Dads
Grilling Dads
XBox Dads
Poker Dads
Laptop Dads
Need-To-Start-Working-Out-Again Dads

Halloween bunting.

Halloween is officially a month away and I spent a good part of last week trying to figure out what my little girl is going to be this year. Even though she’ll barely be 3 months old, it’s my favorite holiday and we’re going to participate. Her costume however has to meet my three requirements for any good Halloween costume.

1. The costume has to be specific and immediately recognizable. If you have to explain it to someone at a party, you have failed.
2. The costume should provide you with some sort of shtick or gag that you can repeat all night long. For example, one year I went to a party as the pope and blessed and absolved people all night. Plus I was infallible so that didn’t hurt.
3. The costume can not completely cover your face or hinder your ability to drink in any way.

If it was 1997 I’d get my mom to make her a grey suit, dress her up like Mini-Me and be done with it, but that’s way too tired. I did find an infant Wonder Woman costume for sale that sounds cool, but the website doesn’t have a picture of it. I’m still open to ideas, but I think I’m going to go with a personal Halloween tradition. I go as Santa, and this year I’ll bring along my own little Christmas tree.

A world of firsts.

Something hit me the other day. I was feeding the baby watching The Alternative on VH1 Classic (it’s like it’s 1990 all over again and you’re watching 120 Minutes on MTV), impressing my child with my knowledge of the lyrics to "Just Like Heaven," and it occurred to me that this was the first time Madame had ever heard The Cure – in her life. And then Morrissey came on and I thought the same thing. Not that she could recognize it, or that she was even aware what was on the TV, but it was kind of cool to think I was exposing this little blank slate to all of these brand new things.

And then last week she got her immunization shots and I had to give her baby Tylenol drops every 4 hours. They’re grape flavored and I thought, damn, that’s the first time she’s tasted anything other than breast milk or formula.

All of this is not exactly a revelation to experienced parents, and maybe I’m just sleep deprived, but it kind of amazed me. It’s not just the big firsts that matter (smiling, walking, talking), but there are also thousands of small firsts that are happening every day.

The requisite Bugaboo Frog post.

No matter where I go, if I’m out with my baby in the Bugaboo Frog, someone will stop me and ask about the stroller - every single time. And there’s a reason. It’s the best stroller available. It turns on a dime, our car seat attaches to it, and it converts from a bassinette to a regular stroller once your child grows up. We even used the bassinette in our bedroom as Madame’s bed until she moved to the crib. Plus it looks cool and is the one stroller every dad would be happy to use.

There are plenty of places you can find where people talk about how awesome their Bugaboos are, and I don’t have much to add here. Below are some links to finding out for yourself how much the Bugaboo Frog will totally rule you.

Bugaboo corporate website (English version)
Bugaboo mini-site from Baby Style
A short history of the Bugaboo Frog (from DaddyTypes)
Bugaboo as part of the Madonna Gift Set from Lifesize at Fred Segal (Lifesize is where I bought my Bugaboo, because Baby Style was out of red.)

Shop for strollers and other products from Bugaboo at Amazon.com

Diaper bags for dads.

2/21/2011 UPDATE! If you're looking for info on the best diaper bags for Dads, this post has old information. Check out my updated post on Modern Day Dad:

The Best Diaper Bags for Dads - An Update

So like I mentioned in my first post, the first dad-related thing I ever looked to purchase was a diaper bag that I could wear proudly. I’m going to be the one wearing it, not my child, so I definitely wanted something without ducks and bunnies and something that wasn’t made specifically for moms (or was from a woman’s bag designer). This wasn’t such an easy task – even the “daddy bags” at diaperbags.com (of course there’s a diaperbags.com) are more like mom bags that aren’t overtly feminine. The one I found that I liked the most is the Dad Field Bag from Jack Spade. It’s basically a large messenger bag, with insides designed for baby stuff (pockets for bottles and diapers, a changing pad etc.) and dad stuff (ipod, sunglasses, headphones). It comes in lots of color combinations (I chose grey/orange) and it works great.

Since then I’ve found two others that could work.

One is the Skip Hop (available at Amazon for $50.00), a diaper bag that’s designed for over-the-shoulder or over-the-stroller use. It’s not specific for dads or moms, but looks O.K. enough to wear for a dad (clean lines, solid colors). There’s also the Diaper Dude bag (available for $54.00 at Amazon), which is another messenger type bag, a little smaller than the Jack Spade bag which is actually kind of good. And both of these bags come in camo for those still celebrating the camouflage revolution. I was able to check out both of them this past weekend at Nordstrom’s, and I definitely liked the Diaper Dude bag the best. The Skip Hop was OK, but it didn’t attach to my Bugaboo Frog particularly well (I guess it’s made for lesser strollers).

Also on Modern Day Dad:
The Best Diaper Bags for Dads - An Update (2-22-2011)

Mary Janes

One of the great things about having cool friends is they get your kid cool stuff. One of those gifts we’ve received is Mary Jane socks from Trumpette. They come in a box of six pairs of little socks that make your baby look like she has little Mary Jane shoes on. And the great thing about them, they’re only for girls. Trumpette is one of a seemingly endless amount of online baby boutique stores, specializing in (of all things) socks. And why not? As any new dad finds out, baby socks are almost impossible to keep on, so it’s not like you could never use another pair.

Daddy binky.

It seems our friends in Russia are reporting that “Specialists from the University of Goettingen” have created something the world (or maybe just Russia) has apparently been waiting for – the adult pacifier. The English translation is a little rough, but Pravda (old-school communism, online since 1999!) reports:

German scientists have come up with a revolutionary approach to help those suffering from heavy snoring condition. This time, they developed a special pacifier for adults, which is meant to bring immediate relief. (Full article here)

Apparently these “scientists” have cured snoring by creating a man-sized binky and sticking it in some poor guy’s mouth. These geniuses figured out that if you’ve got something in your mouth, you can’t snore. And they’re claiming 7 out of 10 are cured (the other three guys probably just spit it out immediately like my daughter does). If you really want to stop snoring, do like I did – loose some weight and roll over on your side. And if that doesn’t work see a doctor (it could be a serious problem), but I would probably avoid one from the University of Goettingen.

(On a side note, did you know that the term “Binky” is owned by Playtex? I guess file that one along with the Gerber “Onesie.")

Tiger Woods. Super baby.

So a couple of mornings ago I’m watching Regis and Kelly (what can I say? I’m a fan of the Ripa), and Tiger Woods is on. They’re asking him all the typical questions, and then someone mentions (I think Regis) that Tiger started playing golf at the age of six months. “Six months?” Kelly asked incredulously. “Yeah,” Tiger says, “I was walking at six months.” I almost took the bottle out of my baby’s mouth and threw it at the television.

Six months and walking? My baby’s only two months old but already I know I’ll be signing her up for gymnastics lessons if she’s standing up by January, let alone walking. I’m sorry Tiger – no way man. Walking takes some serious motor skills. Unfortunately I can’t find any online reference to Tiger actually walking at six months, so it’s possible I heard him wrong (obviously I don’t think I did), but there are plenty of references to him starting playing golf at six months. His official profile says:

“He was not out of the crib before he took an interest in golf, at age 6 months, watching as his father hit golf balls into a net and imitating his swing.”

Fair enough. Then I suppose you could say that at two months my daughter has taken an interest in burping, listening to her father and imitating his gas. I just hope she doesn’t become a champion someday.

Stickers for your wall.

Before Madame was born we decided not to find out the sex of the baby ahead of time - an unpopular decision with our family and friends, but it did end up being a lot of fun to be surprised. Consequently one of the first challenges I had as a new father-to-be was set up a modern, unisex nursery. In the process of doing this I discovered a great home decor product, Blik Surface Graphics.

Blik makes decals for your walls (or any other surface you can find). You can’t re-apply them once they’re stuck, but they say when you take them down they don’t leave any sort of mark. The designs are for children and adults, and are really ideal for apartment dwellers with landlords who won’t let them paint, or parents who don’t want to paint their kids’ room every 5 years. Some of my favorites are the Transport series (which I got for my nephew’s room), Organic and Invader (which look like classic Space Invaders). If you’ve got a favorite poem or quote they’ll cut you a custom set, and even tell you how to lay them out on your wall. We used a bunch of Baby Blik dots all over one wall in the nursery and it looks great (if I do say so myself). Fun, colorful, and good for either a boy or a girl.

Careful what I wish for.

The first day flying solo has come and gone, and everything went about as well as I could have expected, except one thing. Once you settle down to begin the bottle feeding, there’s really no going back (unless you want to get up, undo everything, piss off the baby, and get what you forgot). There’s no more, “Honey, could you hand me the remote?” Thanks to a little practice and a well placed pillow, I’ve got it now so that Madame is on the pillow and I hold the bottle with one hand. The other hand is pretty much open to handle the remote, which is good if I want to watch TV, but yesterday morning what I really wanted to do was read a book. The wife can read and breastfeed all night long if she wants, but what about the literate dads?

I figured there must be a solution, and the closest thing I’ve found is the Oprah-approved Gabriel Break-Away Feeding Pad ($24.99 at Amazon). This thing drapes over your shoulder and holds the bottle right at nipple-height on your chest so you can hold the baby with the other hand. I guess this would solve the problem (if you can get the kid to use it in conjunction with a pillow), but at this point what the hell am I doing? Strapping on a fake boob so I can read a book for 30 minutes? I need to suck it up and watch some TV like a normal dad, and be thankful it’s not my nipple the baby is tugging on.

Big day today.

Well, the maternity leave is over and the wife officially went back to work this morning, which means that today is my first official day as a stay-at-home-dad. To honor the occasion I thought I’d mention a few of my favorite dad websites/blogs that I’ve been reading these past few months. These sites have helped me get through a lot of the apprehension and nervousness I've been feeling about today. Thanks dads.

Daddy Types – Maybe because I seem to have similar interests, or maybe it’s because I also love my Bugaboo Frog, but this is the one blog I always make sure I read. He’s got great stories, advice, and easily the best info on the newest and coolest dad and baby gear. Updated very regularly, this is one everyone should check out.

Rebel Dad – For the latest commentary and links to everything stay-at-home dad (“SAHD”) related in the news and on the web, Rebel Dad is the source. This dude scours the internet (and who knows where else) to shed light on what people are saying/thinking about full-time dads, all the time preaching the good news of the SAHD revolution. Updated almost every day it also garners tons of comments from fellow readers.

City Pop – More a journal than a blog, City Pop manages to tell stories about his son and family that are both endearing and funny.

Slowlane.com – Not a blog but more a traditional content-based website, this is the first site I ever found about SAHDs, and probably the biggest. It’s not updated all the time, but it does seem to be the best place to start if you want to connect with other SAHDs in your city or state (they'll even host small one page websites for your local SAHD group).

The tyranny of pink.

Pink is for girls, blue is for boys. It was that kind of traditional attitude towards babies that this modern day dad was hell bent on challenging. That is, before I actually had the child. Now that I have a girl, I now realize that pink is for girls, and every other color is for boys. Because all babies pretty much look the same, whenever we go out and I’ve got Madame in something other than pink, at least one stranger will tell me what a cute boy I have. Or that “he” is such a good sleeper. And the strange thing is I never thought I would react so negatively to these innocent comments. Usually I just let it go, but inside I’m thinking “ARGHH. SHE’S A GIRL NOT A BOY.” It’s now gotten to the point that I don't want to take her out unless she’s got on at least something pink.

Besides pink I did find another way to clue people in on her gender, the “I’m Not A Boy” snapsuit from Wry Baby. I guess there’s always the baby headband, but I’m a firm believer that, even if it's camo, headbands just don’t look good on (practically) bald people.

"The book."

I have never felt more like a rookie in my life since I've started taking care of a baby, and the things that seem like they should be so simple are often incredibly confusing. Being the kind of guy I am I figured there must be some sort of book that would explain all of those random but very immediate questions (insert tired "these things don't come with a manual??" joke here). I checked out a few and I've found what I think is the best - Michel Cohn's, The New Basics : A-to-Z Baby & Child Care for the Modern Parent. (And no, not just because it's for the "Modern Parent," though I do like the title.)

It's written by a kind of "pediatrician-to-the-stars" in NYC (Jennifer Connelly is quoted on the inside flap) and he covers most every question a new parent might have in a very matter-of-fact, non-judgmental way. We use it so much my wife and I have taken to referring to it as "the book." How often should we be bathing her? Check the book. Formula with iron or without iron? Check the book. What exactly is "colic" anyway? Check the book. The advise I got on sleeping alone is proving to be invaluable.

It definitely doesn't take the place of a question for your kid's own pediatrician (or a quick call to mom), but for a reference it's great.

Bottle feeding marketing blitz.

We've begun transitioning Madame from breast to bottle feeding (in anticipation of the wife going back to work), and I'm happy to report it's going quite well - from her perspective.

My perspective however has been quite different. There are seemingly a million choices for bottles, nipples, formula, warmers and everything else you might want to use to nourish your kid. It's hard to figure out what's best, and like most things you end up using whatever works. The trick is what works is also usually whatever you use first - and that's where they get you. For what it's worth, here's our breakdown:

Formula - The most genius marketing I've seen to new parents so far is from the people who make Enfamil. We got a can of it at our prenatal classes at the hospital, a can of it at the hospital when we had the baby, and then a week or two later we got a package delivered to our doorstep from Enfamil with more formula. 3 free cans total. I figure it's at least $50 worth of formula - a big incentive to crack it open. And if we use it and it works, then hey, we'll probably go buy it for the baby because it's what she likes. Remind you of anything? Hey man, the first one's free - then come back if you want some more...
We decided on Similac because that's what both of us had as babies, and I had read that in a taste test Similac tasted best. But we've always got that Enfamil for emergencies.

Bottles - We're going with the Playtex VentAire, mostly because we received more of those as gifts than any others. But they're kind of a pain in the ass, because the VentAire rubber thing on the bottom of the bottle means you can't put the bottle in a warmer, and it's better to make the formula in another container first to avoid excess bubbles. But the kid seems to like it (see pitfalls above) so we're staying with it for now.

Warmer - I just need something to keep one bottle warm in the middle of the night so I don't have to go downstairs and make one, so I picked the Philips Portable Baby Bottle Warmer. I've only used it a few times, but so far so good. It's got an adapter for the car, but it says not to use it while the car is moving. As I don't spend much time in the car while it's in the garage, I probably won't be using the adapter much.

It started with a diaper bag.

Almost a year ago my wife and I found out we were going to have a baby. Smiles. Tears. Happiness. Nothing but the elation and vague nervousness of first-time parents-to-be. Around the same time it occurs to me that, since I'm not only going to be a dad but also a stay-at-home-and-take-care-of-the-kid kind of dad, I need some dad stuff. And where better to start than a diaper bag?

I go online and start looking for a sweet bag that will hold my and my random-future-baby's things, which turns out to be way more difficult than I ever would have thought. Everything is either very feminine and obviously for moms, or covered in ducks and bunnies. "No problem" I think, "I'll just check out what the other dads are rocking."

So I rev up google and all of a sudden I realize I'm a member of this minority, "stay-at-home dads." I found a few websites devoted to SAHDs, some more helpful than others, but overall there didn't seem to be very many at all. But I know I'm not the only one who's doing this, and there seems like there's a tremendous potential for building community, so I figured I'd throw my hat into the ring and contribute a blog. Plus I figure it'll give me something to focus on besides diapers and bottles during the day.

I guess all of that is a very long-winded way of saying that I hope this blog contributes to the SAHD resources on the web. I'm sure it will change over time, but for now I hope to include the dad stuff I've found that's cool, that works for the baby (or doesn't work), as well as my own personal experiences. So if you're reading post a comment if you're so inclined. The community we're a part of gets bigger every day.

(Oh, and I did happen to find a very sweet diaper bag for dads - the Dad Field Bag from Jack Spade.)

UPDATE: Now, shop for Diaper Bags for Dads at the Modern Day Dad Store.