modern day dad

"Lazy Sunday" for the laziest work week.

Back when I used to work for the man, I used to love working between Christmas and New Years. If I didn't have any place special to be, then I would never take these days off, because working this week meant not really working much at all. Most people were away, and there was lots of time to troll around the Internet looking for diversions.

If you're one of those people (and you - for some impossible reason - haven't seen this yet), check out this unbelievably funny skit from Saturday Night Live a couple of weeks ago.- "Lazy Sunday" or probably better known as the Chronic-WHAT?-cles of Narnia rap. I just saw it last night off the Tivo, and it's probably the funniest thing I've seen on SNL in years and years.

Apparently I'm not alone, because this morning my friend (who actually tipped me to it a week ago) found this article about it in Slate. Every now and then something that's funny stops being just funny and transcends into something just awesome. That's what this is.

"Lazy Sunday" - SNL [You Tube.com]
The Chronicles of Narnia Rap [Slate.com via Matt]

Sixteen and Seventeenth month developments

So today is Madame's seventeenth month birthday, and I'm officially going to stop counting the freaking months next month. "She's a year and a half" is perfectly acceptable from here on out I think.

As I didn't do one of these posts last month, I'm rolling it all up into one - and in these two months a lot has happened.

• Talking. She's not really speaking yet, but her arsenal of words (or word-like sounds) is growing all the time. Before I had a kid I thought that little kids just started saying words one day, but I'm starting to realize it's much more of a gradual continuum. She can repeat sounds you make, and sometimes she can put certain sounds with certain meanings consistently, but she isn't speaking any perfectly formed words yet. Her baby talk is really developed though, and her inflection and facial expressions really convey that she's saying something, just in a language I can't understand. If I could do this part over with her, I probably would have done some of that baby sign language with her.
• Eating. I, as pretty much anyone who knows me knows, hate cheese. I'll eat pizza and some mozzarella, but other than that it kind of sickens me. My Madame however loves cheese. We're trying to incorporate other food in her diet, but I swear that girl could live on grilled cheese sandwiches, peaches and pretzel rods until she's 18.
• Testing. Even at 17 months, I'm starting to see those terrible twos start to creep in. She constantly tests us, seeing what she can get away with and seeing what the consequences will be. Tell her "no" and she'll try it again. Tell her a second time and she'll either stop doing it, take whatever she was doing somewhere else out of my sight and try it again, or smile at me and then do it again. Getting angry or yelling really doesn't have any effect, so I'm trying to develop an icy stare that will stop her dead in her tracks. But I've been unsuccessful so far.
• Kisses. This one is the best. After months, she's finally started to give kisses. I don't really know why this one was so important to me, but after changing the fourth dirty diaper in as many hours, getting a kiss on the cheek is a nice reward - even if I have to prompt her.

Man complains about the Christmas-crunch, noone reads (thankfully).

For those of us celebrating Christmas, we're definitely in the home-stretch. This year everything kind of snuck up on me, and although I've gotten a lot done, it still feels like I've got a million things to deal with, and that I'm going to just flat-out forget about 30% of them. Not to make everything about having kids or anything, but my ability to focus on multiple ongoing things has been greatly diminished in the past year and a half.

Anyway, blogging has dropped off as well  - which is OK I suppose because my traffic has dropped off too, and I can think of a lot of better things to do than read me bitch that Christmas is happening way too quickly this year. Plus Typepad (the blog service I use) decided to crap the bed last week, so the time that I set aside to actually blog was in vain. Ugh.

So from here until New Year's I'm not making any promises. Hopefully I'll get a chance to blog a few things, but it's not looking like I'm going to have a lot of time. Of course, I'm pretty sure neither are you.

Scooters, bikes, and other conveyances for fresh legs.

I wrote a post a few weeks back about the Like A Bike, a bicycle without pedals. The idea seemed a good one to me, but even though it's beautiful, the price tag ($279) seemed a bit high. Then I finally got a copy of the DWR jax catalog in the mail yesterday, and lo and behold they're selling the Like A Bike. So I guess a pedal-less bike isn't exactly as unusual as I thought. Oh well.

But that post did generate a lot of interest and introduced me to some new scooting options for your kids. MDD reader Kevin pointed me to the Kettler Scoot Training Bike (pictured here) which pretty much looks like the same thing as the Like A Bike, but more like a regular outdoor bike. And they even sell it at Amazon for $89.99.

I was also contacted by Randy from Glider Rider, a German version of a similar product. I can tell from our correspondence that Randy is really passionate about balance development, and his product seems like it will do the trick. Apparently they're quite popular in Europe, and in the states the Glider Rider will run you about $127..

Then the other day a good friend of mine emailed me about this cool little scooter his folks had gotten his daughter - the Svan Scooter (made by the same people who make that sweet Svan high chair). It's not exactly a balance toy, more like a simple, perfectly simple, indoor tricycle. The front of it has no handlebars, but a wheel that pivots while the two wheels in the back are fixed. This lets your kid just push it to the left or right to go where they want. The wheels are rubber (so it's safe and quiet indoors) and it's made out of beautiful molded plywood. The Svan Scooter just came out this November and it's $118.99 from Amazon.com.

So there are some options, but I have to say that Svan scooter just jumped to the top of Madame's wish list (thanks Jamie).

LA recap.

We spent this past weekend in LA, without the Madame (thanks to the modern day grandma and pop-pop), for a weekend of December shopping. "Shopping" is really an excuse to get away from home, stay at a nice hotel, and remember what it was like traveling without a small child. LA definitely doesn't give you that traditional "Christmas" feeling, but with temperatures in the high 70s I wasn't complaining. I'm too tired to think of anything clever to write about this morning, so here's my quick recap:

• Hotel. We stayed at The Standard in Hollywood, which we had stayed at back in 1999 soon after it opened, but this time it was kind of a disappointment. The location is great and the lounge is a fun place to hang out, but the services were definitely sub-par. There were small things like no shampoo in the room, but the big thing was the building itself. The floorboards in the room above ours were in serious disrepair, and the creaking from the people leaving Sunday morning in the room above us was so loud it was impossible to stay asleep. The price for the location is still great, but I definitely wouldn't recommend it.
• Shopping. When I go to LA I like to shop in places I can't find here in Vegas, so we spent most of our time checking out places on Melrose. I finally got to check out a Fatboy bean bag chair at Fitzsu, and I got some great vintage kids stuff at Jet Rag (which I'll probably blog about later). The best store we went to was Not Neutral to check out some kids furniture. The worst was (unfortunately) Grommetville, who had a sales girl who was the opposite of helpful, and kind of made us wish we hadn't trekked all the way out to Silverlake.
• Food. I have two restaurant recommendations for you. The first is the Gardens of Taxco, an authentic "Mexico City style" (as they say) restaurant, which apparently means no menus and and endless stream of food that you didn't really order. And they have the best mole sauce I've ever tried.
  The other is Yamashiro, an Japanese palace built in the Hollywood hills in 1914 with amazing views and great food. Apparently it used to be known for great views and average food, but they've got a new chef now who is (in my opinion) doing his job right. It was a unique, only-in-LA kind of experience, and the perfect cap to a great weekend.

Baby Bush; Big idea about having a baby.

What's the Internet for really? Product research? Self indulgent Pithy blog entries? Nope. It's for clever use of stock photography. Check out the parents and kids on BabyBushToys.com (a baby boutique spoof site featuring "products for the resoundingly average child"). Perfect. My favorite toy: the "Twisty Thing. That is Red." My favorite stock photo: pictured above.

And here's a funny essay from McSweeny's you may or may not want to share with the expecting mother in your life, depending on her mood swing of the moment.

Baby Bush [via Dan].
I Don't Know What the Big Idea About Having a Baby Is by Wendy Molyneux [McSweenys.com via Brian].

Wish list 2005

I got an email a week or so ago from AJ over at Thingamababy asking me (along with the other bloggers in his blog roll) to post a wish list of things they want for their kids this year (here's AJ's list). We don't really have a list for Madame, we're just letting our family decide what they'd like to give her. Except long sleeve shirts. She needs some long sleeve shirts.

Instead I've decided to post my personal wish list of things I'd like to have this year. Emphasis is most definitely on "wish."

1. I'd like Costco to stop "improving" every baby product I buy from them on a regular basis. First they decided to stop carrying Pampers Cruisers and replace them with their own, crappy (sorry) "Kirkland" brand of diaper. Then they went and "improved" the baby wipes so now they stick to each other so much that every time I go to get one I get five. Goddamn Costco.
2. I'd like to see some more attractive women on the TV shows Madame and I watch. Laurie Berkner always sings a happy song to dance to on Jack's Big Music Show, but why can't Heidi Klum stop by the clubhouse once in a while?
3. I'd like everyone who reads this to send a package to a soldier serving overseas. You don't need to know anyone, just go to AnySoldier.com, click the "Where To Send" link and pick one of the hundreds who seem to post requests every day. Don't mix personal hygiene items with food, and don't forget to include a letter. It's really the least any of us can do.
4. I'd like a gnome to pick up after the trail of destruction my daughter leaves behind. I don't need a maid, just a magical little guy to quietly put back the stacks of magazines, drawers full of Tupperware, and boxes of salt from the pantry that she leaves in her wake.
5. And I'd like a new dining room table and six Eames DCW.

What I get for shopping at Walmart.

My own parking space. Sweet.

10 most "dangerous" toys.

I was checking out this article in Fortune Magazine on line today (another piece about expensive baby gear - but this one doesn't have a quote from me unfortunately, so I was, as you can imagine, not very interested) when I saw a link to this: 10 most dangerous toys.

Now I don't know what it says about me, but I was expecting some really heinous stuff - wood burning kits, poisonous chemistry sets, giant plastic bags. But these dangerous toy lists every year (apparently put out by W.A.T.C.H. or World Against Toys Causing Harm) must be working, because the stuff in this year's list doesn't seem all that scary. There are toys that have small parts or fur that could cause choking, guns that shoot toy arrows or silly string at a high velocity, and those giant foam fist-hands that "made the list because it could cause blunt impact injuries." Duh.

The scariest thing on the list is a pair of "anti-gravity boots" (pictured) that look like a broken arm waiting to happen. They also look like the most fun.

So check out the list to find out which toy horse has poorly rooted fur, and congratulations to W.A.T.C.H. for keeping the really scary stuff off of the store shelves entirely. And don't be surprised on Christmas if little cousin Jimmy starts smacking you with his new giant fists.

Blinging up baby (that headline is way too easy) [Fortune on CNN.com] (via modern day great-aunt Jeanne - thanks!)

10 most dangerous toys [CNN.com]

Holiday gifts. Kids. Jack's Big Music Show.

I've written a couple of posts about Jack's Big Music Show already, and though I'm not obsessed, I am into it probably more than I should be. Fortunately that's still not more than my little girl is into it, which is a good thing (I think).

Anyway, from looking at the comments in my posts, it seems a lot of people are looking for JBMS toys to give this year. Unfortunately, there aren't any. I can't imagine a scenario where they'll never start making the toys (since the show is now also on Nick Jr. and looks like it's a hit), but they're just not available now.

About the best you can do this year is get the CDs from some of the artists who play music on the show, which isn't as good as a plush Mel the Dog, but it's better than nothing. Music for Little People.com has a collection of CDs for $45.44, or you can always get them individually from Amazon.

Laruie Berkner Band - Under A Shady Tree (many of the songs featured on JBMS are from Laurie Berkner)
Rebecca Frezza - Road Trip
Music for Aardvarks - Grumpy
Milkshake - Happy Songs
The Dirty Sock Funtime Band - Mr. Clown and the Day the Sun Got Wet (from CD Baby.com)
Lisa Loeb and Elizabeth Mitchell - Catch the Moon
The Persuasions - On the Good Ship Lollipop (includes the song "I'm So Glad I've Got Skin")

Also on MDD:
Jack's Big Music Show. (09-29-2005)
Jack's Big Music Show sure is swell. (11-02-2005)